I asked my friend Lance if I could reprint this note he had on facebook. He agreed, so here it is. I am a paper and pen kind of person; I would never bring a laptop to class. Yet I do agree that the way we teach and the way we test, especially, seems kind of primitive. Anyway, I still have an essay to finish. I’ll write my own comments on this later.

pen and paper technology – is that it?

As I study for my last final in school, NeuroAnatomy, I revert back to taking notes with a pen, writing bullets and key points and drawing arrows. I now realize that I only do this because it will make me pass the test. I am only allowed to be tested with the ancient tools of a pen and paper.

The test is not about whether or not I have the ability to understand concepts in NeuroAnatomy, nor is it really about NeuroAnatomy. Rather, it is about seeing if I can digest information using the tools the teacher finds most attractive, the pen and paper, and if I can represent that information using those same tools. What the hell is that? There’s not much I can show you about the brain with a pen and a piece of paper…

I have realized that I can learn anything I want and it’s definitely not a matter of passing tests. All it’s about is digesting information and piecing it together in a way that reveals a new truth about the world. And trying to create tools better than a pen and a paper to discover or recreate information.

I will do diligence in writing my notes with my pen on my lined sheets of paper because I will be tested and only allowed to use a pen and a paper. If I were only allowed to use images and conversation, I would practice communicating with other people about the answers to fabricated problems, just so I could pass that test. But let it be known, this doesn’t get me any closer to understanding “NeuroAnatomy”, it just teaches me how much better I can make it for other people learning NeuroAnatomy.

I would rather be tested by seeing if I could program an application that showed how cell signaling worked in the limbic system or how the visual system constructs images. Or to see if I could rewrite the NeuroAnatomy textbook using today’s amazing programming frameworks and Wikipedia, so that it made more sense, or to see if I could aggregate all the data on the internet about NeuroAnatomy to allow students to learn better. That would show you much more whether or not I knew NeuroAnatomy.

LoL

Ever think about how you hardly ever remember anything complex by writing it down? Some day we’ll be teachers and students won’t be using pens and paper anymore, or even a text editor on the computer which just postpones the learning problem. We need interactive and engaging experiences to really understand anything important.

There was an interesting description of the useless kind of practice in Talent is Overrated. He describes a golfing session where he just hits the balls around, without any plan on what to work on. While this kind of practice can maintain a certain skill level, it is not a path for improvement.

I see the same thing with my essays. I’m just writing things, but I’m not really responding to any feedback I get. In fact, I fear my skills have regressed because I just rediscovered that I should be writing outlines.

Taking off on Lloyd’s comment, I think “Remarks on an Unremarkable Life” will be the title of this autobiography, haha.

I’m looking forward to next semester. I only have class Tuesday through Thursday. That means I can devote one day to awesome things like writing. Also, football will be over, so I’ll have weekends to do things.

I was always struck by the early modern philosophers’ confidence in the process of introspection. I feel an emotion, and I am often very puzzled as to what is causing me to have that emotion. Maybe my rational mind is just unnaturally severed from my emotions. I don’t think so. I don’t even know what introspection or memory really mean. Your past self is dead, and your present self is just imagining himself as a past self. If I remember correctly from Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness, then memory often involves imagination. Yet those memories are something right? They’re not pure confabulation because they’re based on something that you remember. Anyway, even in the present moment, I often feel like a stranger looking into my own mind. There is an emotional experiencer, and then there is a rational mind trying to figure out what is going on. It really is a puzzle why I feel the way I do. I am rather sympathetic to Ryle’s formulation of one not really knowing oneself in a way different than other people know that same person. I hang out with myself all the time, so I am better able to figure out why I feel certain ways. So after this crude representation of Gilbert’s, Ryle’s, and my own thoughts, I turn to something less abstract and just tell you how I’m feeling right now. The caveat, though, is that these are mere suppositions.

I am waiting for myself to write 2 essays. I am currently at the state of mind where I am thinking, “I am this close to just saying, ‘Fuck it, I quit. Who cares about college?'” When it comes to writing essays, that’s just a normal stage of thought I go through. Honestly, it’s like the 7 stages of grief or something. I go through a certain number of stages when I have to write an essay. One of those stages includes complaining on the internet about the work I have to do. If I took the time, I could probably produce a general timeline of what happens when I do an essay. Now, I was about to say that this would be an entirely useless activity, but I’m not sure that it would be entirely useless. This year, I’ve become increasingly self-aware about my essay-writing process. I’ve been trying to stifle the griping, since I think it’s generally useless. And now, here I am editing my thoughts again, where I think that griping might actually be an essential part of my essay writing rather than a superfluous one. Hm. Nonetheless, I am still at the stage where I think this is entirely useless and wonder what the point of it is.

I can’t call that feeling merely a byproduct of the essay-writing process. I think it is a feeling that I generally have about college that is activated when I write essays. In fact, after I’m done with college, I’m going to write an essay entitled, “Thanks for nothing, you greedy bastards.”

Okay let me get this out of my system: Waahhh, I don’t want to do any of these essays!

Alright, time to get to work.

If Oprah can get people to read Anna Karenina, then she can get anyone to do anything.

“How many people, in the beginning of life, think they will finish it as Alexander the Great or Lord Byron, and instead, retain for the whole of their existence, the rank of titulary counsellor?” – A Hero of Our Time, Mikhail Lermontov

Various links I found interesting:

Huckabee Claims Civil Rights Of Gays Are Not Being Violated: They Aren’t Getting Their ‘Skulls Cracked’
This is disappointing. I’ve generally found Huckabee to be more reasonable. I seem to recall him being a voice of reason when the Jeremiah Wright issue was going full-blast. Huckabee will be on the Daily Show tonight. I hope Jon Stewart grills him.

Deficits and the Future
I should read and re-read this, so I will have a basic understanding of what’s going on. I should be able to counter those “we should stop spending” arguments.

Walesa’s Mustache, the Dalai Lama’s Smile, and Sarkozy’s Je Ne Sais Quoi
Not sure why this article caught my eye. It’s not terribly informative, nor is it particularly well-written. I do want to keep in mind that I would like to have this kind of star power when I have a political career.

After Deadline
Interesting blog from the NY Times:

After Deadline examines questions of grammar, usage and style encountered by writers and editors of The Times.

It is adapted from a weekly newsroom critique overseen by Philip B. Corbett, the deputy news editor who is also in charge of The Times’s style manual. The goal is not to chastise, but to point out recurring problems and suggest solutions.

Since most writers are likely to encounter similar troubles, we think these observations might interest general readers, too.

LeBron James “Chalk” Commercial for Nike Zoom LeBron VI
I am just loving everything about this commercial.

People have commented on my last two facebook statuses. This either means I’m a comedic genius, or that people spend way too much time on facebook. Oh.

It looks like Texas Tech versus Oklahoma is a shootout… but only one side is doing the shooting.

I have been lazy.

This is just a reminder that one must actively manage one’s decisions, in order to make any changes. I have to remind myself to be mindful.

The previous day, I finished every item on my to-do list. I don’t know when’s the last time that happened. I felt pretty damn good about myself.

I awoke relatively early this morning. This was a good sign, I thought to myself. Then, I proceeded to do nothing for several hours straight. I had become complacent and completely forgotten about industriousness. I have to remember to put success behind me.

In the end, the day wasn’t entirely wasted. I got some writing done. My e-mail inbox is getting much closer to 0.

Tomorrow, I’ll make sure to write down “Are you being industrious?” on my hand.

By the way, I’m making a list of possible virtues to concentrate for other months. So far, I have compassion, honesty, positivity, initiative, detachment, and cleanliness. I’ve also been thinking about taking things down to a weekly basis (as Franklin actually did), but I do like this several-week endeavor with industriousness.

[Note: Today is actually day 10, but I’m writing this late at night for day 9.]

I found this extract of Gladwell’s new book via Quad. I also saw Gladwell’s book discussed on Slate, and somewhere else. I want to highlight this section:

This idea – that excellence at a complex task requires a critical, minimum level of practice – surfaces again and again in studies of expertise. In fact, researchers have settled on what they believe is a magic number for true expertise: 10,000 hours.

“In study after study, of composers, basketball players, fiction writers, ice-skaters, concert pianists, chess players, master criminals,” writes the neurologist Daniel Levitin, “this number comes up again and again. Ten thousand hours is equivalent to roughly three hours a day, or 20 hours a week, of practice over 10 years… No one has yet found a case in which true world-class expertise was accomplished in less time. It seems that it takes the brain this long to assimilate all that it needs to know to achieve true mastery.”

So… 3 hours a day for 10 years to achieve expertise. That’s very practical advice. That’s a lot of time to spend in a day, but I do watch a lot of TV and I could easily cut most of that out without having lost anything. The real question is do I want to put in the work to master oratory or writing? It doesn’t seem as if I can do both. I guess that leads to another question: Which one will be more useful to me? Or maybe which one do I value more? If we look at past experience, it may seem as if I already have a penchant for writing. Yet when I imagine myself in the future, do I see myself as a writer or as an orator? If I want to be in front of crowds, I guess I have to work on my speaking skills.

I’m not backsliding. I finished up almost everything on my to-do list for the day. In fact, I finished most of it before lunch (short list, haha). Still, I feel good. I woke up around 9AM after waking after consistently after 10:30 for the past several days.

Also, I finally launched the Chalkboard Manifesto blog. That project has been on the backburner since summer. Now it’s off the backburner. Things are looking better for me.

I looked at my hand today and said, “Fuck this. I’m taking the day off.” I watched the Ravens game on TV.

Shouldn’t I be industrious all the time? Don’t I need to work out and out-hustle everyone to get ahead in life? Was this a terrible idea?

I still think industriousness is a mean, and that you do have periods of relative inactivity. There are probably weekly cycles, and maybe yearly cycles too.

I just worry if I really needed the day off, or if this day was an indication of some slippage. Hm.

Five days isn’t that long. I’ve read that it takes 30 days to develop a habit. I’ve also read that that statistic is total bullshit. Regardless, it isn’t too surprising that within five days, I haven’t turned into this amazing industrious machine. At this university, I’ve tended to cultivate an image of not being a hard-worker. I live on the edge, writing essays the morning they’re due and then getting an A- anyway. I don’t do half the reading I’m supposed to. I’ve never read Immaneul Kant, despite it being required in two separate philosophy classes. That’s the image I’ve given, and sometimes I actually live up to it. (Confession: I have actually tried to read Kant. I’ve frustrated myself reading and re-reading certain passages, comparing them with my notes, until I finally understood them.) It’s unsurprising that I’ll have to work hard to change this aspect of my character, which I’ve been practicing for almost 3 and a half years now. I have to cultivate a different image. See even now, I’m embarrassed to admit all the hard work I put into understand Kant. On the one hand, you want people to think things are easy for you. Yet at the same time, you don’t want to cultivate the image of a slacker.

Now where was I? Ah yes, five days. Yesterday, I woke up at 10AM. I didn’t do anything productive until after 1PM. Most of that time was just surfing the internet. However, I kept looking down at my left hand and I felt guilty. This didn’t stop me, but I think it’s an improvement. At least now I’m mindful of being a lazy bastard, instead of feeling guilty after-the-fact. Actually, my hand didn’t even have anything written on it, but I still was mindful. It wasn’t a completely wasted day, in fact. I submitted a story of mine to a digital magazine run by some students at this school. Who knows if it’ll be selected, but at least I’m putting things out there. I also read an RFK speech aloud, in order to work on oratory.

Today, I turned on the television after waking up at 12PM. All the college football games looked uninteresting. This does not normally stop me from plopping myself on the couch and watching football all day. I managed to do some laundry and finish a book, Revolutionary Characters, about the Founders.

I’m encouraged. I think I’m making baby steps towards my goal of changing my character. In my journal, back when I just started this experiment (day 2?), I was very discouraged. However, I know that focusing on the negative cannot result in a change in character. Keep telling yourself, “I should stop being lazy,” but you’ll never actually stop because all that’s on your mind is how lazy you are. You have to praise your positive activities, and not harp on the negative actions. So, after reminding myself, I wrote that I did a good job focusing on reading my book when I turned away from my computer. This from doing reading that took three times as long as it should’ve been. I chose not to focus on that and focus on those moments when I was able to be productive. That’s what I’m going to keep on doing, using this weblog as a tool to keep myself on track.

I’m going to keep up this experiment at least until the end of the month. That means 15 days more to be more mindful about industriousness.

As I reflect back on my young life, I see that I have no accomplishments. If I were to write an autobiography, there would be little to note. In fact, why the hell would I even write an autobiography? I have a couple of pieces of writing in college publications, and I have a relatively obscure webcomic. No fame, no glory.

I can’t help but think of what young people have done. At age 20, Alexander was already king. Newton was inventing calculus in his twenties. Goodness, I don’t want to be accused of being arrogant, but I am ambitious, and I want to emulate the best. (Of course, I don’t want to be a warmonger like Alexander.) I just want to use these people as examples of how far I have to go, and it appears as if I’m not making any significant progress to doing significant things.

Then, I read this about Thomas Paine: “Paine’s campaign on behalf of the excise service collapsed, and in 1774 he was again dismissed from the excise service and compelled to declare himself bankrupt. The future scarcely looked promising; at the age of thirty-seven he had failed at everything he had ever tried” (Revolutionary Characters by Gordon S. Wood). Okay, so I’ve still got a little more than 15 years — I’m almost 22 — to mess around before I can make my mark on the world, and then die in obscurity and be maligned as a dirty atheist for a century. Just kidding.

If I even want to be in a position to do anything, though, I’ll have to practice writing and speaking. I have to be ridiculously prolific when it comes to writing. I don’t have to do it all at once, but I want to at least put myself on the right track. I can’t wait for inspiration. I have to produce and produce, and in that time I will hone my craft. In 2 years, I want to look back and be proud of that body of work, even if it’s not all published.

I’m trying to be more mindful of being industrious. I’ve only been doing this experiment for a few days. I already have doubts. Is industriousness really what I want? I’ve thought up different goals. One question: “What are you building for tomorrow?” Another: “Are you being prolific?” To me, industriousness conjures up an image of plodding. All these different things race through my mind, but I resolve to keep with the original experiment for at least another week.

I’m convinced that to do anything even remotely approaching success, I must take an active approach to crafting my personality and personas. I must mold myself into the person I want to become. I’ve decided that the proper approach, taken from Ben Franklin, is to focus on one virtue for a month. These may not necessarily be the ones Franklin used, or match any set of classical virtues. The first virtue to cultivate is industriousness.

Written in pen, on the back of my hand, is the phrase, “Are you being industrious?” I’ve decided to utilize a technique from lucid dreaming. I would constantly ask myself, “Are you dreaming?” Eventually, this habit would find its way into my dreams. I would ask myself if I was dreaming, and then realize that I really was dreaming. Back when I found myself working on positivity, I noticed that even in my dreams I actively worked towards the goal of positivity. I gave advice to dream-people based on that paradigm. The goal with the industrious question is to be constantly mindful of industriousness. I want it to permeate my thoughts and influence my dreams. That will be when I know it has started to become part of my character.

Now, this does not mean I will become a workaholic. I’ll take a cue from Aristotle and say that industriousness is a mean. It is between being a slacker and a workaholic. I just want to be productive.

This is an experiment. I do not know if it will work or fail. I know that I did become a more positive person after actively managing that part of my personality. I am a perpetual procrastinator, though, so I may have trouble. I will work on it for the month and see if I become more industrious.

I fucked up, big time. Well, that’s all you blog readers get, sorry. That’s just a note to my future self.

It’s been a long time since I’ve received any hate mail. I’d get some good hate mail back when I was running Psycho-ward.org. I love hate mail. There’s nothing more invigorating than receiving hate mail. On the flip side, there’s nothing more devastating than receiving a critique that you realize is mostly true. I think something I’ll have to keep in mind is to be as invigorated when receiving the latter, as I am when I receive the former. Certainly, the latter is much more valuable for self-improvement or improving one’s product.

It was rather gloomy today. Overcast. The post-Bush world isn’t really going to look any different than the Bush Era, is it? Where are the magical unicorns? When is racism over? When is bin Laden going to turn himself in because he sees the shining beacon that is America? When are the troops coming home?

Also, hung over. Was that the hope or the tequila?

9PM – CNN won’t call AZ for McCain right away. HAHAHA! I don’t expect Obama to win that state, but this is a good sign for the national trend.

9:21PM – McConnell wins his tight race. *sigh* That would’ve been a good win for the Democrats.

9:26PM – O-H-I-O! Woo!

9:31PM – No Republican has won without Ohio (in a long time or forever, I don’t know)

9:34PM – 200 Electoral Votes for Obama, from MSNBC. I’m currently watching Fox News. This is a “center-right” nation, lol. “Obama will try very hard not to press a liberal agenda,” says Kristol.

9:38PM – Talking with Lloyd on AIM. New Mexico called for Obama (hence the 200), and it looks increasingly unlikely for a McCain victory. I’m still waiting on NC, IN, MO, or FL.

9:41PM – “To call it a narrow path is generous…” says Chuck Todd.

9:44PM – 200 for Obama still. California has 55. Oregon has 7. Washington has 11. That is more than 70. It’s over, I think. I swear the math isn’t right. I can’t believe it.

9:54PM – With more results from “fake” Virginia, the race is tightening. So said Lloyd a bit back. Almost time for Daily Show/Colbert coverage.

10:39PM – @ 11PM, it’s going to be called, when polls close in CA, WA, and OR.

11:15PM – Daily Show had the best sketch ever!

11:15PM – Ladies and gentlemen, we have witnessed history. America, for the first time ever, has elected a half-white president. It gives hope to half-white people like me, who hope to be president one day.

11:19PM – Concession speech. Keep it classy, McCain.

11:34PM – McCain was gracious. Thank you for dropping the demagoguery at the end.

So far, Obama has 333 electoral votes. It’s a landslide, folks. We’re not far off from my 375 prediction.

11:45PM – Prop 8 is leading. Damn.

12:27AM – Before I say good night, one last thing: U-S-A! U-S-A! I love this country.

MSNBC’s coverage is brought to you… from teh FUTURE!!! OOooooohhHHH! Silly super holographic representation of the polling data. Too tacky.

Silly CNN coverage, with the “ding” as state results come in. Sounds like a video game. A bad video game, with Wolf Blitzer, the douchebag.

I’m supposed to write a paper today (or a lot of it today, and some of it tomorrow), but I don’t know how that’s going to be possible. There’s too much election crack out there, and I will be snorting it up. My addled brain won’t be able to write about Aristotle.