Very interesting: Media Bias Is Real, Finds UCLA Political Scientist. Found this article while reading this website: Patterico’s Pontifications. I’ll have to pull that one out next time someone claims that there’s no liberal bias in the media.
Category Archives: Unsorted
Plus and Minus
I guess because of grade inflation, now they gotta use +’s and -‘s to distinguish between people. Well, let me go on the record as saying -‘s are bullshit. That’s right, bullshit. And +’s too.
(Alright, yeah, it’s because I only get A-‘s, not B+’s. It’s still bullshit, though.)
Tightening the Border
I found this news article encouraging: House Votes to Toughen Laws on Immigration. Something I found especially encouraging was that it didn’t have a guest worker provision. I am vehemently opposed to such a measure. Why? Two main reasons: 1) We don’t need to set up a system of second-class citizenship. 2) A main goal of immigration should be assimilation/integration.
I have to say that now I’m a fan of Tom Tancredo, “a firebrand on illegal immigration who drove the debate.” Thank God somebody recognizes that we have a serious problem on our hands with illegal immigration.
Forget the Audience
I have a confession to make: Since April 4, 2005, I have been trying to figure out the meaning of life. I have been trying to develop an all-encompassing life philosophy, covering everything from self, to love, to government, to economics. Actually, all my life, I’ve been working on that problem. I don’t know what everyone else thinks about in their spare time, but that’s my default position. Especially late at night, I just sit there and wonder. However, it’s only been since April that I have worked on this problem more in earnest and more methodically, writing down my thoughts in a notebook.
I’ve had a lot of break-throughs and false leads, but I’ve been trying to tear everything down to the base. And trying to find the Truth that satisfies me. I’ve been going around in circles and circles trying to get past a certain point for months now. It’s been a very personal journey. I’ve still a long way to go, but I’ve finally reduced things to the principles I can build everything else upon. Specifically, I’ve wanted to answer two questions first: What does it mean to be human? How should I live? I know I wanted to encompass everything, but I limited it to that scope in what will eventually be a book. Finally, I’ve found some satisfactory answers.
The way I see the world: All the world is a stage, but we are not acting according to a script, but playing a giant game of improv. Life is just as meaningless as a game of improv. However, framing life this way twists the issue of futility that I’ve been trying to deal with into something more palatable without rejecting life’s lack of purpose. I can go on, but all I want to write about is the base. Suffice it to say, it’s the analogy to life that I’m most satisfied with, especially because it accepts the role other people play, unlike a previous lucid dream analogy I was playing with.
“How should I live?” has been a much trickier question, and I’ve been trying to reconcile two answers. One path, based on the futility of life, basically says, “However you choose.” Another path, based on a newfound Christianity, says that I have a responsibility to love everything. I may have found a middle path.
My new philosophy: “Forget the audience.” It relates to the game of improv and tells you to forget who may be watching. It tells me that I should embrace the game, to seize the day, to never hesitate. It tells me not to worry about who’s watching and have faith in myself. It tells me that the only way this game will work is if I completely submerse myself in it, and it follows that I can only do this by working with the other actors.
One more thing about my new outlook on life: Life is not zero-sum. Improv is not zero-sum. It’s an important realization for me and makes life more livable.
Kurdistan
We should’ve pushed for an independent Kurdistan, and I wonder if it’s still not too late. I guess so because of the constitution. Perhaps certain persons in Iraq would not have liked it, but it would’ve been in the best US interests. I do not believe the insurgents would’ve attacked Kurdistan. It does not make any sense. Also, the Kurds would’ve been more willing to allow the establishment of a US base and maybe even to share in the oil revenue. I guess we’ll never know for sure, but I think it would’ve helped stabilize Iraq. It would’ve been one less faction to worry about when drawing up the Iraqi Constitution and during elections in general. Heck, we might’ve even been able to set up a government more to our tastes in Kurdistan.
The Language Barrier in Iraq
You want to know the other big reason for why not enough American soldiers don’t know Arabic? (The first reason is not enough training.) This is too crass for TV, but luckily we’re on the Internet where no holds are barred! Middle-Eastern Muslim culture keeps their women all wrapped up and sheltered (or are we too licentious?). If Americans were chasing more Iraqi tail, they would learn more Arabic. Maybe if the Iraqis had more hot nightclubs and bars… No, no, I kid… Still, I wonder…
Unfortunately, I am not in Iraq and don’t know jack shit. *sigh*
Link: Another Perspective on Immigration
Another perspective on immigration: Immigration Control Through The Ages.
I will be in Atlanta until the 14th. I am not bringing my laptop, so I doubt there will be any updates between now and then.
A Radical Solution to Border Enforcement
I’ve been very impressed with Judd Slivka’s pieces on the Arizona-Mexico border in Slate. They paint a very good picture of what’s happening, illustrating the various problems that have arisen, and how they have affected the people in the area. It recognizes the realities of the situation and, to me, doesn’t feel like it has any heavy political bias. It just gives an accurate picture of what’s going on.
Upon reading Thursday’s entry, I had to pause when I came across this sentence: “There is the U.S.-Mexico border that you’ve heard about, where immigrants are coming through in droves, drugs are entering in increasing numbers, and two governors have declared a state of emergency because the southern thirds of their states are overrun.”
Two states being overrun? Does anyone in America realize the extent of this problem?
Slivka doesn’t stress this, however, and I applaud her for that because it would detract from what her pieces are trying to accomplish. They present an accurate portrait, a snapshot in time, of a certain area and lifestyle. Still, even without the alarmist tones, I can see that what is happening there is not good for America.
There are different factors contributing to this migration problem. The clamp-down on immigration going on right now has re-routed their paths through rural areas, “the numbers got huge after the Border Patrol started intensive enforcement in cities and pushed the immigration into the rural areas.” However, the Border Patrol is not wrong in stopping these holes. We don’t want illegal aliens easily flowing into our country and stopping the Border Patrol from doing its job won’t solve any problems. The intensification of enforcement is not the main cause of what’s happening. One big problem is that illegal immigration has increased in numbers beyond what the Border Patrol can handle. I’m not going to get into the causes of migration, suffice it to say, if you do the research, there has been an increase in migration. (It would do well if I linked to some source, eh? Well, I guess I’ll cite my sociology lecture.) There are other factors indeed, but this problem is mainly a numbers game, in my mind. There wasn’t this problem in the rural areas where the ranchers came across very few border crossers. The attitudes change with the numbers, and I think there is a direct cause. The missing link in my numbers game framework is: Did Border Patrol intensify their work in cities due to an increase in illegal immigration within cities? That, I don’t know. However, I infer that it may be the case because numbers have increased, and I don’t blame an increase in xenophobia alone. (The causes of the increase in numbers, I won’t go into.)
Even if you don’t accept what I’m saying, it’s evident that Border Patrol, at its current capacities, cannot handle the influx of illegal immigrants. The border is too porous. The question I’m trying to answer is: How can we close the border? Not, Should we close the border. If immigration is such a problem that two governors have declared states of emergency, then something needs to be done. You can’t solve it through eradicating global poverty, by merely attacking the root causes of this migration. You don’t solve the crime problem by attempting to eradicate poverty and not putting anyone in jail. Both measures need to be attended to. Security along our borders needs to be increased.
Critics will say that what I propose is impossible. We’ll never close the border, so we need other solutions. Again, I appeal to the crime analogy. We’ll never build enough prisons so we need to think of other solutions. Yes, we can think of other solutions to the immigration problem, but at the same time, we need to close our border. Carrots and sticks. Perhaps “close” is too heavy a word. I believe we can radically reduce illegal immigration with radical solutions to border patrol.
Here’s one: We institute mandatory military service, perhaps two years long, for all young males. We use our military to patrol our borders.
God, after typing that out, it really shocks me how insane a proposition that is. Yet, it’s also insane that two governors have declared states of emergency. I feel insane; I definitely do. Does anyone else get the feeling that the influx is a veritable invasion? I do feel like perhaps I’m overreacting, but then I think about history. Let’s put it this way: How do you think Texas became a state? I’m not letting Mexico steal any stars from our flag.
The Still Sleeping Giant
Imagine a world where the American people had not come together after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.
Imagine a world where the isolationists accused President Roosevelt of being behind the attacks in order to join the war. Imagine a world where the head of the Republican Party didn’t denounce these claims. Imagine a world where many Americans believed President Roosevelt was constantly exploiting Pearl Harbor for political gain.
Imagine a world where the American people were more concerned about understanding the Japanese enemy instead of being angered. Imagine a world where many Americans believed the Japanese were justified in their attack on America. Imagine a world where the press said that responding to Pearl Harbor will only increase Japanese hatred of America.
Imagine a world where Congress had decided to consult the world community before declaring war. Imagine a world where Congress declared less than total war on Japan and didn’t demand unconditional surrender.
Imagine a world where many Americans didn’t believe Japan posed a big enough threat to our freedoms. Imagine a world where the Republican Party wished to return to pre-Pearl Harbor politics. Imagine a world where the Republican Party believed Pearl Harbor was just a distraction from domestic issues.
Imagine a world where the movie stars, role models for many people, hated America. Imagine a world where the press constantly portrayed American progress as negative. Imagine a world where the press emphasized the Americans dead in each battle. Imagine a world where the pundits insisted that this was a war we couldn’t win. Imagine a world where the pundits said the Japanese will never surrender and that we should stop fighting.
Imagine a world where a sleeping giant was never awoken, but simply rolled over and went back to sleep.
Remember. Remember December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy. Remember a nation, and a generation, which rose to the challenge.
The Agnoiologist News-Letter Vol I, Issue 2
Please download this one page Word document: The Agnoiologist Vol I, Issue 2. Fuck Johns Hopkins.
For those of you too lazy to download the document, or if you don’t have Word, the text of the articles is in the Extended Entry.
God and MySpace
Just got this bulletin from MySpace:
“Jesus. I. love. you. and. I. need. you. Repost this within 5 minutes and title it: MY PARTY. A miracle will happen tonight. P.S. Do not ignore *God works in mysterious ways*”
This just in, being God’s friend on MySpace is requirement for getting into heaven. In addition, being Jesus’s friend on MySpace is an acceptable alternative to accepting him as your savior. This too: If you leave a cool picture comment for St. Peter, he’ll put in a good word for you with the G-man.
My goodness, God does work in some mysterious ways.
P.S. Don’t ever break a chain letter that God sends out. He’ll smite you.
Our Grievances
What this school, Johns Hopkins University, needs is some sort of system to address student grievances. All the time, we are left out of the loop. They think they are addressing are our needs, but as the bathroom locks show, they are clueless. They didn’t even inform us about the bathroom locks. We should’ve received an e-mail about it beforehand.
Terrace food court (cafeteria) at least attempts this. They have a Comment Board. You write comments, stick it on the board, and they reply. Unfortunately, if we want to leave any other type of complaint, it’s impossibly complicated. I think we have to call security if we want something cleaned in the wee hours of the night. Even then, you’re lucky if it gets cleaned. And if it doesn’t get cleaned, who can you complain to?
I guess you can complain to RAB, the Resident Advisory Board, but that’s very inefficient. RAB meets only once a week. RAB ain’t exactly a very transparent institution, either. They tell us, “We’re working on it,” but I tend to distrust them. They didn’t fix the shower curtains. They kept talking and talking, and then when I finally put out my news-letter, and got some attention, then some stuff got done.
What we need is something transparent and easy to use. Something that’s available 24 hours. What we don’t need is another giant level of bureaucracy. Luckily, in these modern times, we have just the tool to implement such a system of addressing student grievances: the Internet. They could design one site for the purpose of addressing student grievances, and easily aggregate all the services, so students know what to do. So we don’t have to go through layers and layers, our RA, RAB, etc, etc. Because if Johns Hopkins really cared about the students, they’d let the students speak. They’d let us directly address our grievances.
How else am I going to tell MegaBytes that I can order “no tomato” on their specialty menu? This way, we can know if a problem is being looked at. We can know if anyone has raised this issue before. We can get an estimated date for resolution. It’s transparent and holds people accountable.
Of course, I doubt even this simple solution can be implemented when it takes them 3 weeks to even replace disgusting shower curtains. Fuck you, Johns Hopkins.
Two More Reasons to Hate Johns Hopkins
- There are only 4 scanners in Krieger Computer Lab. Two of them are currently not working. One of the computers with a working scanner will not print.
- The nickname for the AMR I dorm is “The Projects”
Part of a new ongoing series of reasons to hate Johns Hopkins University.
SNOW!!!
YAY SNOW!!! *JUMPS UP AND DOWN*!!!
The Damn Bathroom Locks
We have locks on our bathroom doors. To get inside of the bathroom, you have to bring your key. Obviously, this is more than inconvenient.
The bathroom locks piss me off so I’ve created a petition to state that we students wish that they be removed. My goal is to get everyone in AMR II to sign, and I’ve already got over 100 signatures.
Below is the text of the petition:
“The locks on the bathroom doors are an unnecessary layer of security. We already have a security gate with a security guard, and then a keycard is required to get inside our house. It is highly improbable that anyone would break through these layers of security in order to hide in a bathroom.
It is an unnecessary hassle to have to unlock the bathroom door in order to use it, for ourselves and especially any guests. Anyone visiting from Building A, Building B, Wolman, McCoy, or from a different AMR, is unable to use the restroom without borrowing a key — even during posted visiting hours. In addition, if anyone has to vomit, it is difficult to unlock the door in time. This kind of clean-up puts an undue burden on our janitorial staff.
We understand that they were added in response to the wants of students from last year, but they do not live here anymore. They did not have the security measures that make the locks unnecessary. The needs of the students currently living in the AMRs should be responded to first.
In conclusion, the trade-off between any minimal security the locks add and our inconvenience is not worth it.
To replace the doorknobs would require money, but to disable the locking mechanisms would have practically no cost.
We, the undersigned, ask that the locks on the bathroom doors in AMR I and II be disabled.”
That’s right, fuck you, Johns Hopkins. Security is our number one priority, my ass. Security theater is your damn number one priority. This doesn’t make anyone safer, you wasted a whole lot of money for no reason, and you know it.
Why the situation is as dire as I think
Tell me it’s not as bad as I think when the Chinese own the moon, when the US military has lost its might, when the energy crisis cripples our economy, when all the scientists live in foreign countries, I could go on.
Two Men and a Baby
I just came about this deeply disturbing feature on Wired News: How Two Men Could Make a Baby.
Alright, let’s get this straight. I am not some whackjob anti-science fundamentalist. I grew up in California; I am perfectly fine with gay people. Hell, I am even for gay marriage. (Wait a second, aren’t I supposed to be right-wing? And the answer to that, my friends, is that I am 18 years old, and I am what I like to call a “Next-Generation Conservative.”)
But this! I don’t care what anybody else says, this is deeply disturbing. Babies aren’t supposed to be made this way! You can make the case that even in nature, we see homosexuality, but you can’t make the case that we ever see two male animals making a baby!
Go ahead, call me old-fashioned, even call me a bigot. But this isn’t an issue of freedom or equality. There’s no enshrined constitutional right to have a kid. (And if you want a kid, there’s this perfectly fine thing called adoption.) This is about a little tiny voice inside me that says this is just wrong and science will have gone too far if it does this.
Science shouldn’t do this. Period. I don’t care if I have no “rational” basis for this argument. I don’t need one, just like I don’t need any rational reason for thinking killing is wrong, not that those two are in any way morally equivalent. It just is, and I think most Americans will agree with me. However, by all means, leave a comment if you disagree.
Expressing Serious Concern
This article isn’t very interesting by itself, N.Korea says CNN execution image fabricated, but I found one part hilarious: “A UN General Assembly committee on November 17 adopted a resolution expressing serious concern about the state of human rights in the secluded state.”
Uh oh, North Korea, you better shape up! I mean, next thing you know, they might adopt another resolution! And maybe they could even express “extreme” concern!
It reminds me of the scene in Team America: World Police where Kim Jong Il asks Hans “Brix” what will happen if he doesn’t let him search his palace. (We will be very very angry and write you a letter.)
Risk and the Decline of America
When’s the last time you saw a good movie? No, I mean a good movie. Yeah, and once you got that down, let me eliminate it to a good movie. Not a musical, or book.
We live in an age of horrible movies. We live in a world of remakes and sequels. The question is why and the answer is simple: Risk-aversion. Giant studios spend so much money on one flick that they want to make sure it’s a success. So, they see that if one movie has worked, they better make a sequel. Even though we all know the sequel is always worse than the original, we all see it anyway, otherwise they wouldn’t keep making sequels. It’s because we all know that movie studios keep putting out shit, so we watch the sequels because they’re a lesser evil.
The giant studios, increasingly consolidated, stifle creativity, put out commercial movies that no one likes, and is bewildered when we don’t like them. Instead of encouraging creativity, they’ve learned to further crush it by making sequels, remakes, and basing movies off books and, a recent trend, musicals.
What’s happening with movies is symptomatic of a larger trend in America. Risk-aversion and the consolidation of companies. And it’s destroying America just like it has destroyed the movie experience. Movie audiences decline more and more each year.
How many tries did it take for Edison to get the lightbulb right? Hundreds. What if he had just been a cog in a large multi-national corporation and they told him it wasn’t worth it to pursue this lightbulb business?
Granted, this example is quite a stretch. Companies still spend money on AIDS research, for example. However, I believe that we need a modern day trust-buster, like Theodore Roosevelt. Instead, we have theories of neo-liberalism that say globalization is good for everyone. Giant corporations are proponents of the status quo. The gas companies have every stake in maintaining our current infrastructure and no real reason to invest in petroleum alternatives. And, they have the money, because they’re so big, to seduce the government into doing its bidding. Look where it has got us: Leading to a major energy crisis. Large corporations won’t give us radical change.
What we need are small businesses. Small businesses that have flexibility. Small businesses that have the possibility to fail. Yes, that’s what we want. We need market pressures to put out wide varieties of products, and we need the losers to fail. There’s no such thing as competition is no one loses. What it does do is keep people on their toes, and it forces further innovation, instead of maintaining the status quo, as we saw with Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. Before IE had totally dominated the browser market, innovation was occuring, and Netscape and IE were updating their software. After IE won the browser wars, we still are waiting on IE 7. If the browser market consisted of competition between small businesses instead of one giant company using its might to maintain the status quo, imagine the innovations we could’ve seen.
We also need colleges to encourage innovation, entrepreneurship, and, most importantly, risk. Instead, we are given an environment where students have little opportunity and time to experiment. They’re lectured at and forced to memorize material, instead of being taught and learning anything. Or (not in college) when they are given an opportunity to do something, it’s something dumb like an egg-drop that doesn’t have anything to actually do with applying the material.
All students experiment with in college are sex, drugs, and alcohol. You know why? Because you’re not teaching us anything useful! We learn not to learn. We learn to game the system and skid by without putting forth any effort. We’ll do the exact same things in our jobs. We’ll be inefficient lawyers and doctors. This is the future, America!
We’re learning that money is everything! You go to college to get a good job and there are only certain types of jobs you should have. Whatever happened to the American Dream? It’s become “be upper middle-class,” and the corporations helped do it to us. Most Americans would like to be their own boss, but entrepreneurship is not encouraged anymore. And whatever happened to the day and age when parents would’ve liked to have seen their kids become president? What weak aspirations have they for their children now?
We look at China and wonder how they’re doing so well. We think our kids would learn more in such a harsh school environment. Our education lags, and we think, “Oh, it would be nice to do that, but our kids would hate it and it would stifle creativity.” Let America be America! Truly encourage creativity and individualism, not this facsimile of it where all kids get is more free time to waste. They have nowhere else to put their creative energy except into their vacuous Xanga’s and MySpace’s. Internships/apprenticeships have become playgrounds for the rich and privileged… just another thing for their college application.
America has kept its edge in the global market because of constant innovation. If other countries catch up in manufacturing, well, then, we can’t have a manufacturing economy anymore, can we? And so, we’ve strayed from that. Unfortunately, the edge in innovation is going away. We’ll see our schools become more like other countries, and yet we’ll still be behind. You know why? Because we’re not other countries! We’re America! We have our values and our values work, when they’re allowed to flourish. Our children needn’t become automatons to succeed in the global market. Our children need to be taught that risk is okay (grading needs to be completely overhauled), or else all we’ll see the next (my) generation produce are commercial equivalents of sequels and remakes, and watch other countries speed by as they make better sequels and better remakes.
Some people may say the issue is more complicated than this, but you’re missing the point. Innovation is what will keep America ahead in the global market, and that can only occur when children are taught that risk is okay. And if you disagree, tell me, when’s the last time you saw a good movie?
so short a break
I don’t get to see hardly anyone, *sigh*
Thanksgiving so close!
Aaahhh! I can’t wait to take off! I live for that. Hooray airplanes.
But first, essay… euch… blech… yuck… AAAHHH! I gotta finish gotta finish gotta… stay up so long just finish… don’t think just keep going… aaaaahhhhhhhh… I hope I finish.
Registration Rush
This morning, at 7:00, the workaholic, obsessed, over-achieving freshman at JHU (which means all of them) woke up to register for classes as early as possible. God, fuck that shit. I slept. No wonder I want to transfer. You kids drive me crazy. No, I’m not the crazy one! You all are!
Medium School
They put a new TV in Megabytes, the grease factory, today. Only this TV is equipped with an N64. They explained with a sign indicating that this was “old-school” and we should enjoy the memories.
Sega Genesis is old-school. SNES is old-school. NES is old-school. N64 is not old-school. If that’s old school, then I’m old. I’m not old. Obviously, it was put there by old people who don’t understand what old school means. When the Nintendo Revolution comes out, maybe, just maybe, you can call N64 old-school.
I Want To Be President
I remembered that I wanted to be president. I had forgotten that. I had lost sight of it. Now, I remember. I remember how much I love America, and how much I want to help the American people. I remember how I want to help set America on the right track, after seeing what our current president is doing to our great country. I remember, and I don’t want to ever let myself forget it again.
Slowly Relearning
Two and a half months can destroy a lot. It will take a long time to relearn how to live. It will take a long time to relearn how to appreciate life. To relearn how to seize a day.
Find Your Little Group? How About No.
Someone told me not too long ago that I need to find my little group and just stick with them. Then, perhaps I won’t be so unhappy here.
How about no. I don’t want to be stuck in some little clique. Yes, it’s okay to have a small circle of friends, but I also want to be connected to the larger community! Don’t you people understand that? Or are you too wrapped up in your studies?
The Decline of the Grocery Store Clerk
I remember sophomore year when Ms. Armstrong introduced me to the strike situation going on with the grocery store clerks. I was very sympathetic. Yet, during one trip to a grocery store (after this was over, I think), I thought, “Wait a second, all of these people aren’t going to have jobs in 5-10 years anyway.” The grocery store clerk was going to disappear. I thought they would perhaps be replaced by RFID.
Well, it didn’t happen quite the way I thought it would. Self-checking is so prevalent these days. Half of the counters were self-checking at a grocery store I went to today.
It’s taking less time than I thought it would.
Isn’t it odd? Does anyone notice these things? Does anyone notice how in the span of a few years we went from practically no self-checking to so many self-checking stations? Does anyone not take these things for granted?
It looked so odd, so foreign to me. I felt like a time traveller in a futuristic world. I saw a young infant watching his parent use the self-checking thing. Beep. It recited the price in a robotic voice. I thought about how this child will take this kind of thing for granted. Since he’s been alive, the internet has always existed. He’ll grow up in a world where grocery store clerks will not exist.
I, for one, still refuse to use self-checking. I want someone to wait on me.
The Riotous Question No One Thinks to Ask
Regarding the riots in France, I think the main question is: Do these people want to be French?
The mythocrats on both sides assume an answer based on their ideology, but no one is taking the time to really think this thing out. This question matters because it determines everything about how you should go about solving the problem. It says whether you need a heavy-handed approach or not. It says what you need to do about immigration and assimilation.
It’s a legitimate question to ask. And it’s a legitimate question to ask all immigrants of all countries.
You can run in little circles all you want about how this problem came about, but you’ll never solve the problem until you answer that question.
If It Ain’t Broke, and If It Is
I really really hate it when people fix what ain’t broke in order to hide the fact that they aren’t fixing the things that are broke.
Example 1: At Terrace cafeteria, they put the shitty food in nice-looking buffet-style metal containers. What utter rubbish. There’s such a disconnect that it makes the food taste worse. What’s more, there were no plates anywhere! I’m not sure if it’s because of the time I was there, general incompetence, or maybe that the new fancy-schmancy food containers left no room to put the plates. And the food still tastes gross.
Example 2: Locks on the bathroom doors. I need a key to get inside my bathroom. Evidently this is supposed to be some security measure. I find it an inconvenience measure. The trade-offs aren’t worth it in terms of security. So, we’ve got stall doors that won’t work, and they decide to give us locks we don’t need on the outside door. Brilliant.
A Mirrored Drained Life
I saw something the other day at dinner that convinced me that I want to leave Johns Hopkins. I saw Sarah at dinner after not having seen her for a while. When I met her earlier in the year, she was really excited about meeting new people, as I was.
During dinner, she was much more subdued. She was thinking about transferring, as I am. It was so odd to see her like that… it seemed as if Hopkins had sucked the life-force out of her. And I think it has done the same to me. I wonder if that’s how I appear. Although, I tend to show my sorrows a little differently: bitter cynicism.
Still, it was a lesson learned. I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s not just me; it’s this place. By coming here and hating it, I’ve learned to appreciate California that much more. Then again, she’s a local. I guess it’s just Hopkins.
But you can see why I’ll do better if I go to a different place, right? Here, I can’t achieve anything because I’ll never be motivated enough. If I only get good grades and do nothing else, I’ll feel that I’ve wasted four years of my life. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to not waste one year of my life.