Do things really change quickly, or do they change gradually and you just don’t notice it until it hits you all at once?

I wore a polo shirt with a pink tie today. The tie was very loose and the green and blue striped shirt had its collar popped. I borrowed one of my sister’s pink and blue belts that matched pretty well with my tie. It was way too metro for me and probably everyone else too. Yeah, well, that’s the point of experimenting: To find out what works and doesn’t work. And a lot of times, things don’t work.

My dog died.

No, he didn’t. But if I lived halfway across the world from you, how would you know? Back up a second, how would you even know if I really have a dog or not?

Now, let’s say I don’t live in America, but in Iraq. What’s to prevent me from posting complete lies about what’s going on there? How would people know? People link to the lies, propagate them, and their opponents arguments are thwarted by lies.

And so what if the truth comes out. A lie can go around the world before the truth can even get its boots on. The damage is already done.

Alright, stop thinking small. Instead of a weblog, let’s make a newspaper. We brag about the world’s new interconnectedness, but, really, how worldly are people? How many of you have been to other countries? To other hemispheres? To other states?

How do you really know what’s going on in other places? It’s less true than in the past, but it’s still possible to control what people think about places that are far away.

Going back to the newspaper, let’s make one that is full of lies. About people that never existed. About natural disasters that never happened. Who’s stopping us? The freedom of speech includes the freedom to lie.

Okay, there are lies against libel and defaming someone’s character, but who says we have to do that? There is no law against misinformation.

Make the paper internally inconsistent. How many people look at the corrections in a newspaper? Correct typos that never occured.

Create a newspaper of lies and see if the truth will ever catch up.

EDIT: Addendum: And what does the average person know of science? Not much… case in point: evolution, global climate change. Producing fake science stories that reference fake studies. What can anyone do about it?

Found this article, Ninth Circuit Doesn’t Flip Over Use of Coin in Verdict, via Patterico’s Pontifications.

I particularly liked this part:

“‘If you look into the subjective considerations that any juror may contemplate, it’s hard to know the proper place to draw the line,’ he said. ‘Today’s it’s coin-flipping. Tomorrow, in an extreme example, someone might say there should be intelligence tests.'”

I wouldn’t even call that a slippery slope. That’s more like falling off a cliff.

As much as ****** touts itself with things like tsunami relief funds, there is a real culture of apathy at ******. I definitely want to pick an active college.

EDIT: Edited out my school name so they don’t own my soul.

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Didn’t have a great time, overall, at Hayward Honor Band, but it might be just because I’m so jaded after 4 years of it. (And other current personal issues.) Yet, the conductor made the band sound so good, so I feel as if my criticisms would be moot, anyway.

Friday should be cause for rejoice. Yet, these past two Fridays, I have not gotten that “it’s Friday” feeling. It’s not too hard to figure out why, in retrospect. Last week, Thursday was a half day and I went out to lunch. This week, I have had Honor Band yesterday and Honor Band tomorrow and the day after. Thus, I did not get that proper Friday tingle.

However, understanding the problem doesn’t make me feel any better. I need that Friday feeling to break the monotony of the week, just as I need holidays to break the monotony of the year. Geeze, what would the human race do without holidays? We’d be so bored. One Friday, I remember, I just could not stop smiling because I felt so good that it was Friday. It’s disappointing to be deprived of that.

Exacerbating this is the fact that I’m on instant messenger to chat, but no one is online. (Except for the Daryl, thank goodness for him, otherwise I’d be 100% insane.) It makes me feel as if I’m the only loser not having fun right now.

I tried… I really did. Got home, played piano. Just couldn’t get into it. Couldn’t feel anything. So, I tried playing the organ. The added foot action didn’t tickle my fancy either. Already read my usual online comics and blogs. Nothing exciting there. I don’t feel like playing pool either.

My cousins were over, but they were both sick, which didn’t make for exciting enough an evening. Played chess on a whim. Meh. We did play poker, but for no money. I don’t know; I just wasn’t feeling it as great that night. It was still kind of fun. I got screwed in the end… my A-K lost to 5-7 off-suit. I mean, it was good, but it lacked the oomph of other nights. I guess I attribute it to their diseased states.

…

I apologize, folks. You probably don’t really need to hear this. But that’s the State of Shawn right now — bored on a Friday night.

Luckily, there is a remedy. I just need to hang out with someone tomorrow, after honor band. But I fear no one will want to, or they’ll be busy. In that case, I shall just have to kidnap someone.

Least enjoyable Hayward Honor Band ever. However, I’m not going to put any slander and hateful invective on this weblog. All I want to say is that I’m glad UOP isn’t on my list of colleges I applied to.

Poor Neo.

Not my dog… my half-brother’s dog. My sister took the picture.

Analyzing things economically, one can easily predict that China will soon (relatively speaking) be ahead of the US. The US is the supreme power right now, economically, technologically, militarily, but the future will be different. The US will not be as dominant.

I hope to be president one day. However, the world will be a very different place by the time that can possibly happen. Right now, I feel very helpless about the inevitable decline in US power. The challenges to be faced in the future will be very different from the ones faced now. The 20th century belonged to the US, but we are in a new century. And it just seems odd that if I were to lead this country, I would not lead the strongest nation in the world.

So, anything I can possibly think of now will probably be moot because the US is on top now, and I can’t imagine what the future will be like with the US not being the world’s hyperpower. Thought exercises can only go so far. Guess I’ll just have to keep my eye on the present.

Who else but small children would think to make a song about the Bubonic Plague?

Who else but young children would sing a ditty about Charles Guiteau?

And we wonder why there are so many weird grown-ups in the world.

Geeze, some people… Source protection a blogger’s right?.

I really like this pathetic stab: “Because of those issues, Sentelle concluded, even traditional journalists should not enjoy a ‘common-law privilege’ protecting them from grand-jury subpoenas. Thanks a lot, bloggers!” [emphasis mine].

Thanks a lot, bloggers… now we can’t pretend we have a “right” (not a privilege) to threaten national security!

From my math book, “18. (Continuation of Exercise 17) Repeat Exercise 17 with Simpson’s Rule and E_s.”

As soon as I read it, I said, aloud, “How about no.”

Your bit of hilarious stupidity for today: “Hacking” the iTunes-Pepsi promo.

After all, I am The Agnoiologist. (Yes, capital The.)

Whenever someone says, “I love you to death, but…”, the emphasis is almost always actually on death.

For my latest English assignment, I have to take two timed writes I’ve done and combine them into one great essay. Hasn’t my teacher ever heard of alchemy? You can’t just transmute gold from piles of shit, I mean, lead. It’s not taking a rough work and polishing it into a gem… I don’t have the base materials: It’s an impossible transmutation. Fortunately, my brilliant mind is its own Philosopher’s Stone.

The current pop culture trend is disgusting. Ugly baggy clothes that you trip over. Super Bowl half-time shows with indecent exposure. Offensive language is in vogue, as seen with the popularity of reality TV shows such as The Osbournes.

Some consider homosexuality to be one of these freakish new trends, but in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, we find respite from the uncouth popular culture. Queer Eye promotes style and elegance — and general cleanliness. Inspired, my friend Daryl and I have vowed to dress in a manner that is more classy. I am currently wearing ties more often. We want to try vests.

However, classiness cannot simply be restricted to dress — it must extend to attitude. The world is coarse. The greatest novelists of our time are extremely bitter and cynical. These novels are brilliant, but the sarcastic anti-hero of the imitators are becoming hackneyed. Our world and worldviews need refining.

Thus, added to our quest is the intent to make humor more highbrow. The kinds of jokes which will provoke a chuckle from those sporting top hats and monocles. Perhaps not that far, for I’m sure we are too deeply infected with a post-9/11 cynicism, but it should at least be a level higher than what we’re used to. I tried it with a satirical piece with a historical reference.

Here, Daryl attempts his first bit of satire. I thought it was eloquently executed, and I hope you enjoy it.

John Marshall severely outstepped his boundaries in Marbury v. Madison with establishing the principle of judicial review. How can the American people accept this extreme judicial activism — creating new powers for the judiciary not defined in the Constitution? Marshall essentially gives the judiciary the power to overturn laws made by Congress. These are not powers that should be granted to the judiciary. The people did not vote for these judges. Redefinition of a law’s terms is for the legislature to do, not for a judge. Marshall has no right to legislate from the bench.

I hope you will join me in my quest to discredit the process of judicial review.

William Hung, inspired by the Special Olympics, announces plans to use the money gained from his pop stardom to start Special Idol. It will be a singing competition for all those who can’t sing. He hopes it will inspire singers world-wide so people can have someone else to laugh at.

Wow, reading all these news articles about the SOTU, and they are all so pessimistic and anti-Bush, wondering if Bush learned anything from his first term. Hey guys, I wonder if you learned anything. Look at all the change he has affected. In his first SOTU, he named an axis of evil. Now, Iraq has had free elections. Expect change in these coming 4 years. Don’t expect Bush to make these sweeping plans and not follow through. Various articles cite Bush’s low approval ratings. I guess they missed the 2004 election in which he still managed to receive a majority vote. Besides, the people don’t directly vote on these issues. It’s Congress. And guess who controls Congress! The Republican Party!

It’s shaping my own vision of how I want to be president. The title is not caretaker of the United States. The president needs to be a leader and effect positive change.

The vibes I get from the lime coke commercial would be cool if it didn’t look like that guy has to go pee.

I’m starting to figure out the direction I want to take with the Agnoiologist weblog: the subtle edge. I don’t want to be super caustic and lowbrow; the Agnoiologist needs class and elegance. Maybe the type of jokes that will go over a lot of people’s heads. But that would take effort. Effort which I don’t have at 8:38 in the evening. Yes, that should be early, but it’s not. Even though I took a long nap, I am extremely tired. And I have yet to do my work for today.

However, I’ll entertain you a little bit more with my plans for my website, Psycho-ward.org. Looking back, I have some good stuff, and some not so good stuff. The site feels less mature than I want it to be now. Next redesign, which will be a summer project, will involve a major content redesign, as well as the usual backend overhaul.

Okay, and I guess I’ll try to actually be entertaining for a bit:

I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be the guy that names crayons. I found the greatest colors today: “tickle me pink” and “purple mountain’s majesty.” I would like to bring simple pleasure to everyone who opens a box of crayons. However, no matter how long I worked, I don’t think I could ever top this name: “mauvelous.”

I do not have anything entertaining to say, so I will use this space to disappoint you. Because I am disappointed in you.

Nah, I’m just messing with you.

Today, I got a piece of mail with a stamp on it that said, “Unsorted STD.” Great. Just great. What is wrong with the Postal Service? Before, all I had to maybe worry about was anthrax. But now I got to worry about STDs too? Wow. I am sticking to e-mail.

[Hm… not sure if I be writing such low-brow items…]

I heard on the news today that the projected deficit was $470 billion, but the Bush administration admitted it would probably be higher. What kind of projected estimate is that? If you know it will probably be higher, why did you not estimate higher? This is not the Price is Right. If you go over, you do not go bust.

(I apologize if the number is wrong because I was listening inside of the car, and I am not very good with memorizing numbers.)

I have been pondering the Agnoiologist weblog, as an entity, as of late. I have also been pondering the question of readership. What does that Agnoiologist offer that would make you want to tell your friends about it? What new insights does it offer?

Weblogging is becoming trendy and I don’t want to be an unvisited cookie-cutter weblog. I’ve been writing in general, and I’m still proud of what I wrote… I just want to take it do a different level, or at least try something different. What I want to do is find some kind of niche I can occupy in this here ecosystem called the blogosphere.

Should I hearken back to the roots? The Agnoiologist should study human stupidity, no? Hm. But the question is how. What I really want to try to do is make a weblog that people can laugh at. As much as I love my satirical pieces, I cannot do those all the time. Not only is it too much work, it’s too much like The Onion. Besides, I have principles against parody for parody’s sake.

I have an idea of what I want to try, however. Recently, I have been working on a comedy bit — a stand-up type routine. For my weblog though, I can’t post long pieces. What I want to try is post little random comedic blurbs. Of course, there will still be interludes of geopolitics.

Let’s try this:

My English teacher gave us a project for Valentine’s Day. We are supposed to find a love poem, decorate a card, and write a short biographical blurb. It is due before Valentine’s Day so she can get it back to us before then, just in case we want to give it to someone. Yeah, that will be smooth: “Here you go, my one true love, here is a card I did for an English project and inside is biographical information of some person you do not know.” Nothing says love like a required assignment. “I got an F on it, but hopefully you will give me an A.”

Those stupid 100 Calorie Packs. The only reason they’re 100 Calories is because it’s such a small portion.

Wait a second, us silly Americans. We complain about these stupid small portions, but we forget to realize that we’re fat pigs who are used to eating gargantuan over-sized portions. Really, if we ate less, we wouldn’t be as fat.

You go out and eat, and since you paid so much, you feel obligated to eat it all. And our elders don’t help. After all, there are starving kids in Africa who’d love to eat that. Psh.

That’s the overlooked item. Exercise more. Eat healthier foods. Less carbs. Less fat. How about less food?

I was talking with my mommy and the whole God and the tsunami dealie. She told me that there were some miracles. I replied, “Yeah, but for 150,000 people, there wasn’t a miracle.”

After all my thoughts, I was excited to find this article on Slate: Send a Message to God. That eloquently sums up my own proto-thoughts.

[By the way, I’ve updated MT, and re-enabled commenting. I’ll be playing around with that more sometime. And holy crap! MT has sub-categories! I’ll definitely be playing around with that!]

For some reason, this headline didn’t warm my heart: Pop stars unite for quake victims. I’m sure they have good intentions, but it reminds me of, in the vaguest of ways, when I was railing against Campell’s Chunky: Tackling Hunger. Okay, these two things aren’t even in the same league, but charity events (emphasis on events) don’t give me the warm fuzzies and make me feel like the world is a wonderful place.

Don’t worry, folks. If you didn’t like that paragraph, things get progressively worse. And it starts with this headline: Public warned of fake aid appeals. Exploiting a tragedy to swindle people out of their money? AGH! How can people in this world be so horrible?! HOW?! Somewhere around 150,000 people dead last time I looked. That’s a gargantuan number, and people just don’t care. I don’t get it.

Finally, we have Quake disaster ‘could test faith’. Times like these reminds me of how being an atheist can make so much more sense. It makes the universe simpler, however, that doesn’t make it any more comforting. Personally, I don’t get how an omnipotent, omnibenevolent God makes this happen. Sure, you can look at the good in the situation, but this reminds me of when I was musing about an Emotional Broken Window Fallacy. Think of all the families — mothers, fathers, children — who loved each other, and how all this love was just wiped from the face of the Earth. Gone! If there is any type of god or gods, I cannot believe they can be both omnibenevolent and omnipotent.