I’m reading about Roman religion and it seems like ancient religions are much more rational than modern, monotheistic religion. You act bad, the gods mess you up. You act virtuously, the gods reward you. The gods can be bargained with. Contrariwise, you can’t bargain with God. Plus, he does bad shit to good people all the time. Theodicy is pure nonsense. Modern religion, from this perspective, seems to make less sense than these ancient religions.

With certain ancient religions, the gods were believed because it was a matter of experience. (We now reject their superstitions, but you can see the effects gods would have.) I can understand if you believe in God because of your experience, but it makes little sense to have “faith.”

The alternative interpretation is to say, “Of course modern religion is more advanced than ancient religion.” Ancient religion is superstitious and distinctly human. Modern religion attempts to embrace something that is beyond human comprehension.

Our definition of God doesn’t make sense. You can argue that God is beyond definition, but that just seems to bolster the case that human definitions would be nonsensical.

I had to read Book XII of Aristotle’s Metaphysics for class today. The whole thing about the heavens moving in circles came up. Apparently, the Greeks used to think that the planets and heavenly sphere (all those stars) moved in circles. This continued well throughout the Middle Ages. It was interesting how Aristotle’s metaphysics dictated how circles were so divine. I mean, to put it crudely, he thought to move perpetually, you had to move in a circle. Yet the thing is, the Scholastics during the Middle Ages would’ve rejected the metaphysical parts of that whole thing because Aristotle rules out a singular creation event. Somehow, they still thought the circles made sense though.

From our modern view, the epicycles seem silly. However, I guess it’s better to impose some sort of way of understanding the motion rather than saying that the planets just randomly wander through the sky. I just don’t understand why the circles had to be so special.

Aristotle literally thought the heavens were divine. With religion in general, it’s interesting to see how religion tries to save itself by presenting literal myths as allegory. (Well, not everyone.) I mean, the Catholic church sanctions silly “miracles” in its process of creating saints. Sorry, I just think it’s all just as crude as those divine heavenly circles.

[NOTE: Bah, I don’t like the way I’m writing at all. I really should not write late at night and leave things completely unedited. However, it’s better to have some imperfect writing out there, than to have nothing out at all. I need to create a habit.]

No, the universe is not made out of tiny particles. The universe is made out of patterns.

When I thought this, I felt a tingling sensation throughout my body. I had begun to touch the face of God. No, I then took it one step further.

God is a pattern.

Now, I must examine this claim. I must find out what it even means, if it truly means anything, and then if it has any truth in it.

Suddenly, this doesn’t sound so unachievable.

“They say that to not believe that there is anything higher is to be arrogant. However, it may also be arrogant to find evidence of a higher being and to claim that because it is beyond human comprehension, it must therefore be infinite and perfect in every way.”

A thought that I don’t necessarily believe in. Just something to ponder.

I believe that when most people refer to God, although they say “higher power,” they actually mean “highest power.” Do I believe in a higher power or higher powers? I lean towards yes. Do I believe in a highest power? After much thought, I’m deciding that the answer is an emphatic no.

This should be where I launch into an explanation, but I’m still tinkering with my reasoning, so an elaboration can only come at a much later date.

In any case, does this make me an atheist?

This is really long. Read at your own peril.

I don’t know when I became a Christian. There wasn’t a set date. There was no drastic flash of divine inspiration or some sign.

I was an atheist ever since I hit puberty. The concept of God never made any sense to me. I went through 4 years of Catholic high school and nothing they said ever changed my mind. I never felt anything whenever we had Mass.

In fact, the concept of God still doesn’t make sense to me, but in a different way than before. When I was an atheist, I just had no idea how anyone could believe in God. There was no proof at all, in my estimation. My current conception of God is some type of being that is incomprehensible and one which humans cannot define. Thus, if you can’t define God, you can’t very well prove his existence. You can’t measure God since he’s incomprehensible. I don’t know if God is omnipotent or omniscient or omnibenevolent. More importantly, I think that I can’t know. Got that? Let’s move on…

Since April of last year, I’ve been trying to find some unifying theory of life, that would encompass all facets of life. I was trying to find the meaning of life, I guess. I came across some interesting things.

At one point, I found out what faith meant. I had never ever understood the concept of faith before. It never made any sense. I only found out through repeated introspection. When I pushed further in rejecting all my beliefs, I found no foundation. I found no reason to choose good over evil. Still, I chose good. I struggled and struggled. But why? Why? Why should I chose good? I kept trying to find reasons but there were no reasons, in my mind. And then I came upon the concept of faith. To choose good just to choose good. No reason.

Of course, discovering the concept of faith didn’t turn me into a Christian. It didn’t make me believe in God. However, in retrospect, it put me in a mindset where I could move myself away from the belief that everyone who was religious was, to some extent, nuts. I mean, I respected them, but I just found them irrational.

For my Bible as Lit class, I read Ecclesiastes. Being in Catholic school, I’ve taken religion classes, and I’ve read the Bible. None of it really enthralled me at first. I read the Gospels, but I didn’t really care what they said. I heard about Jesus and thought he was cool and all, but he was always just a man, not the Son of God. I liked some of his message (as explained by various teachers, including a hippie liberal), but I never decided that I would walk his path.

Ecclesiastes was different. From the beginning, I was hooked. Here was a man who had the same problems I did. How fucking crazy that thousands of years ago, this man wrote exactly what I thought… “Vanity of vanities, says the Teacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under the sun?” Yes, what do we gain? It’s all pointless, isn’t it? (Sorry that everything isn’t in chronological order. This doesn’t map with my earlier discovery of faith. This happened beforehand, but I’ve always struggled with existential crises.)

You would think at this point I would have some lightbulb go off in my head and that’s when I converted, but nope. The Bible isn’t the book that converted me to Christianity. In fact, I was kinda pissed off when I read the end of Ecclesiastes. I’d read Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus and felt like Ecclesiastes had taken a cheap leap of faith at some point. I didn’t see that logic.

If you really want to know the book contributed greatly to my conversion, it was The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky. I was reading a whole bunch of non-fiction at the time. I have no clue why the hell I read this book.

It convinced me of the imperative to love everything, which I felt was part of Jesus’s message. At the same time, I had come to understand what faith was. I had also come to some of my own conclusions about how to live. I also had been studying existentialism. I began synthesizing these thoughts in my notebook.

I talked with my friend online at one point. He emphasized a philosophy of balance. I vehemently opposed it at the time. I felt an imperative to ground myself in this world. To choose good. (Or whatever, the thoughts become muddy from my recalling them.) Anyway, at some point he asks if I’m Christian now, and I say that I don’t know. Yet, it seemed like I wanted to follow the philosophies of Jesus Christ at that point.

This story isn’t complete, is it? After all, you don’t know how I came to believe in God. Well, I guess I should be perfectly honest. I don’t really know either. What’s more, I’m in a state of perpetual doubt. At this point in my life, I sometimes severely wonder if I believe in God or not. I don’t have an unshaking faith.

What I have are inklings.

At one point, I broke down and asked for a sign. I was like, damn it, I want to know. Please, I am insignificant and weak. You know the way I think. I need some type of evidence.

I never received a sign.

I did receive a few questions.

Of course, if I put these few experiences down that I’ve had, I know that the old atheist me would think I’m nuts. But you have to look at the sum totality of my experience.

My dog survived surgery when I was sure he was going to die. He’s still alive now. I don’t see that as proof at all of any existence of a higher being, but I did sometimes wonder if it was a sign. Strangely enough, I never wondered while this whole thing was going on. I never prayed, asking for my dog to live. I figured he had lived a good long life already. In fact, I thought the surgery would be a massive waste of money. So, he lived, and it wasn’t until a long time afterwards that I wondered if this was the sign I was asking for.

Then, I had this experience meeting a random stranger on BART. I thought that perhaps there was some higher force at work. But I didn’t see this as my sign. I still don’t have my proof.

I don’t think I’ll ever get a “sign” as how I originally thought it. I don’t think I’ll ever have proof. And I don’t think I deserve any kind of proof. I won’t say “that’s not the way God works” because I think it’s incredible hubris to claim that one knows how God does or does not operate. So, since I don’t really know what God is supposed to be, it’s hard to believe in something I can’t understand. I don’t think: “I believe in God.” I think: “I believe in God?”

Before all this happened, I have other important experiences that must be shared. The first experience involves a river. I didn’t convey it all in the entry, but I think this was a time where I felt connected to some type of unity. There’s no other way to explain it. If not that time, I’m sure I’ve felt it other times. Like one time when I looked in the mirror, just glanced at my own eyes while reflecting on life, and then I felt this incredible feeling, a connection of the past, present, and future. Other times it’s been a feeling of being connected to the entire universe. I guess they’re what one may call peak experiences. If you’ve ever read Emerson’s transparent eye poem, it’s exactly like that.

I read a book called… hm, the title escapes me at the moment… but it was a science book. It talked about peak experiences and how they’re felt when people pray or when someone is in deep meditation. There are different levels of unity that people feel at different times. The book did not take the stance that these were all just brain states and thus false. Could we be connecting to something higher? Do our brains enable us to connect to something higher?

You can now see that my question/belief is not grounded only in two small non-signs and a commitment to some of the teachings of Jesus. There’s something deeper that I’ve felt. Was it God? Who knows? I sure don’t know if those different experiences are connected in any fashion, but I’ve just put it out there so you can see where I’m coming from.

This is very long, and I’ve still a lot more to share. There’s one other peak experience that I had that was very different from the others. Whenever you have one of these experiences, you feel like you’ve accessed Truth. It shapes you. This peak experience wasn’t about unity. It was during Halloween Two. I felt as if all of life was insignificant, but it was a marvelous happy feeling. I was reveling in the naturally illogical nature of the universe.

Thus, now you can see some of the basis of my two contradictory truths. I am a Christian who believes that the universe is ultimately meaningless. I believe that nothing matters, but I still have an imperative to love everything in that universe. And now, I’m at the point where I believe that I can fully embrace both beliefs. I don’t have to abandon one or the other. I don’t have to find balance between them.

As you can tell, I’m already not a traditional Christian, but I have another belief that really sets me apart from other Christians. Actually, it’s not a belief. It’s the lack of a belief. I still don’t believe in heaven or hell. I suppose that also means I don’t believe in an afterlife. I suppose that also means I don’t believe in an everlasting soul. Or if there is some type of soul, it disperses, just as your body decomposes when it dies. Your constituent elements return to the universe.

Part of it goes back to the experience where I saw the connection of the past, present, and future. It wasn’t just that. I don’t know how else to put it, but I saw heaven on Earth. I saw what we have as the best we will ever have.

Part of it goes to my beliefs about Jesus. I just don’t understand how the Jesus I know would create a hell. Isn’t there an all-forgiving element? Of course, I know the traditional Christian riposte: You have free will and thus choose not to go to heaven; God doesn’t send anyone to hell. Still, it seems a cop-out.

Also, if there was a heaven and hell, it wouldn’t make sense to believe that there’s no reason to choose good over evil. That’s not a very good reason since it gets things backwards, but you can see why I would have a reluctance to believe in heaven or hell.

At heart, I’m still a skeptic. At least with Christianity in general, I have all those thoughts and experiences aforementioned. With heaven and hell, I have absolutely no evidence or introspective beliefs that would make me change my mind. I’m sorry, but my conception of Christianity doesn’t allow for hell to exist.

It’s untraditional, but I’m sure I’m not alone. Not that there is anyone who matches my exact set of beliefs, but people who agree with certain elements. I haven’t met anyone who was unsure of when they became a Christian, but I’m sure there are people who didn’t have one set conversion experience. I know there are Christian philosophers who agree that “Nothing matters.” I know there are Christians who don’t believe in heaven or hell. Actually, my politics professor said George Washington quietly lacked a belief in the afterlife. I know there are Christians who don’t have unshaking, unwavering faith; they sometimes have doubts. And maybe there are people out there who may agree in totality with my beliefs.

Nevertheless, here I am, putting them out there, unafraid to share my beliefs with the world at large. They may change as they have changed before, but this is a snapshot of what I believe right now. Some may disagree vehemently with my current views of Christianity, but it would be folly to shout at me, “You are not a Christian!” Better that I am in the fold and have a chance to perhaps come to your side, than to push me back into the realm of atheism. Yet, I already explained earlier why I was unafraid. Not all Christians are born-again evangelicals. If you tell me that I am in no way Christian, I know that you are telling many others that they are not Christian either.

“… Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear and I will speak; I will question you, and you declare to me.’ I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

Beautiful.

Nikki left this comment under my entry about Scientology. Scientology is very scary.

[begin comment]

I was born into a family of staunch scientologists and suffered from intractable epileptic seizures for 25 years.

My whole life I was led to believe that my problem was spiritual, not physical. I was emotionally tortured and shamed by scientology because of the ridiculous theories and activities that were thrust upon me. There was also the sense that I was failing my family and LRon every time I had a seizure -which was often. It was as though it was somehow MY FAULT! I eventually tried to kill myself with anti-convulsants when I was thirteen years old.

When neurologists recommended that I undergo brain surgery to remove the benign brain tumour that was CAUSING the seizures in my right temporal lobe, my father went bezerk and tried to stop the evil doctors from profiting from my doom.

Since undergoing the temporal lobectomy five years ago I have been 100% seizure-free. No medicine required and CERTAINLY no auditing, touch asists and all that other CRAP they had me doing since I was a young girl.

Stay away from scientology – they’ll fcuk with your mind the way that they have and still do with my family’s.

[end comment]

I glossed over the detail of having Mass that day, and the fact that there’s a new bishop because I was trying to make a different point. This new bishop is crazy and I had trouble during Mass trying not to bust up laughing.

The way this guy opens up his speech is by mentioning a sports jersey. He says there’s a patch on it, which signifies that it’s the real deal, authenticated by the NBA. He compares himself to the patch.

Yes, children, get your True Christian patches, right here! A patch! Why didn’t anyone think of that before? Screw loving your enemies, I just want the “I Love My Enemies” patch!

He’s the patch that authenticates the ceremonies and makes sure they aren’t cheap knock-offs. There’s an unbroken chain from the Apostles copying the exact things Jesus did. He says they’re the exact ceremonies Jesus performed, and these things weren’t decided by a committee.

Hm… how about the Council of Nicaea where they decided what True Catholics did?

Another thing: How can people sound so arrogant when they call themselves “unworthy”? I don’t know how he did it, but that was another moment when I almost couldn’t contain my laughter.

This bishop was definitely giving off vibes that we’re all sinners and don’t love God enough. Yes, the humans are inherently evil deal.I didn’t like it one bit. I don’t remember exactly what he said, and I know he wasn’t this extreme, but I was instantly reminded of this: Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God by Jonathan Edwards.

I don’t know if this was the bishop’s idea, but we didn’t even get to sit down during communion. I suppose I could’ve sat down myself, but they told us to stay standing up. I don’t know what the norm is, but at our school, I never stood up the entire time during communion.

Completely catching me off guard, he breaks into song at one point during the part where he talks about the wine being Jesus’ blood and stuff. Anyone seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? It was the tune those monks sing, only the words were in English, not Latin. However, I have no idea if it’s a direct translation (I doubt it). I contained my laughter, but Ian and Richard next to me didn’t. I also resisted the urge to pretend to slam something onto my forehead (while Richard didn’t).

One last gripe: He was miked the whole time, so his voice cut through while the choir was singing. Not that I like the choir (another story for another time), but his voice exacerbated the horribleness, there was some sort of time delay between their singing (probably his fault).

At one time, I was complaining to Lindsay (and a few other people) online about how I hate folding laundry. It really is quite a bother. When I get my own home, I’m living out of the dryer. However, as she remarked, the clothes get all wrinkly if you leave them in there.

I don’t remember exactly, but if my memory serves me right: My appropriate rebuttal was that wrinkly clothes never hurt anyone, unless space aliens suddenly came and killed everyone who had wrinkly clothes.

A bit later, she calmed my fears, properly noting that if space aliens came and killed everyone wearing neat-pressed clothes, I would be safe.

You know what this reminds me of? Pascal’s Wager.

Think about it. Since we know nothing of these space aliens, it’s just as likely that they’ll come and kill either group of people… Or, to set up the religious analogy some more, let’s say the aliens send them to be tortured on a spaceship named “Hell.” Which way can you wager? It’s impossible to know. Just as it’s impossible to wage correctly in Pascal’s Wager.

Wait a second, you might think, “All the religions don’t set up such a mutually exclusive situation.”

However, if we know nothing of God, which Pascal’s Wager posits, it’s just as likely that God will send us to Hell for believing in him, as it is that God will send us to Hell for not believing in him.

When it comes down to that, it’s best not to worry about what the space aliens think, and do what you like best. Wrinkly clothes, or ironed clothes. As for me, I’ll keep my clothes slightly wrinkly, and keep on not believing in a god.

When I was in Washington, DC, participating in the summer class abbreviated as NSLC, I decided to give my spare change to a man who asked for money as I was coming out of a building.

One of my group members saw this, and, as we were leaving the area, remarked, “You know, you’re not supposed to do that.”

Although, as many of you know, I’m an atheist, I replied, “That’s not what Jesus would have done.”

I have no idea if the girl was Christian, but I’m sure a great number of Christians believe the same thing: These people don’t deserve the money, or they need to get a job, or they’re not really homeless, or whatever other rationalization they think in their middle-class minds.

Yet, Jesus did say, “Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5.42). And yeah, it’s not easy. It’s not easy to “go also the second mile,” when someone forces you to go the first.

Too many people are simply Diet Christians — driving to church on Sunday and thinking that qualifies them as a Good Person ™.

Hypocrites. The lot of them.

As for me, I’ll keep giving my spare change (yeah, even when it’s my own hard-earned money). What good does it do me? Will it really add up to a noticeable amount eventually? I doubt it. And even if they are “fake” homeless, the money will still do them more good than it’s currently doing me, jingling in my pocket.

But… I guess I’m a hypocrite too. I hardly ever have change in my pocket to give in the first place. That’s okay, though, I’m just an evil atheist.

Moreover, I’ll only give to anyone on the street who directly asks me, unless s/he is playing really good music.

And… I’m a bit partial to the message of Carnegie’s Gospel of Wealth. Yet, I don’t think a bit of spare change now and then hurts anyone. To quote from the Bible again, “Yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table” (Matthew 15.27). The full extent of the Gospel of Wealth, however, is another discussion for another time. (Sorry to be such a tease.)

On vacation

Will be on vacation from today to the end of June, at least. I will keep you informed if I manage to find internet access.

Newsflash!

The first private vehicle has reached outer space. This is an important day in history, and opens many new doors with space travel. Still, I think a space elevator would be better.

And now, we take you to your regularly scheduled weblog entry:

1 in 10 to the 17th power?

An e-mail from “alias” about my Jesus’ Appeal piece, before I put up the annotations:

I already dealt with part A in Jesus’ Appeal Annotated.

1) Where did you find “seed of a woman” in Genesis 3.15? This is God talking to the serpent. Galatians, meanwhile, was written after Jesus’ birth. It is in the New Testament.

2) I read Genesis 9 & 10, and I did not find any prophecies about the Messiah. Even if I accept your proposition, I must remind you that supposedly all the peoples of Earth came from the 3 sons of Noah. What’s so special about 1/3?

3) What does Genesis 22:18 have to do with Jesus? Even if you look at the passage in Galatians… The rest of that prophecy is not true. When did Jesus posess the gates of his enemies and become as numerous as the stars?

4) Again, no mention of the Messiah in the Genesis passage.

5) “… and a scepter shall rise out of Israel; it shall crush the borderlands of Moab, and the territory of all the Shethites” Numbers 24.17. Woah! I totally missed that one in the Gospels!

6) Did you read Genesis 49.10?! “The scepter shall not depart from judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until tribute comes to him; and the obediance of the peoples is his.” Am I missing something?

7) Hm… absence of mention of Jesus… I see “A shoot shall come out from the stump of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of his roots.”

8) Perhaps you can make a metaphorical argument that Jesus fulfills this prophecy, but let’s look ahead one verse: “In his days Judah will be saved… and Israel will live in safety…” Jeremiah 23.6. Euh… nope, not Jesus.

9) All very fine, but no mention of crucifixion in Psalm 22.14-18.

10) No arguments here. I’m not sure if the Psalm is an actual prophecy. However, being betrayed by a friend isn’t so uncommon an act to support your statistics.

11) Yet, Micah 5:2 says, “But you, O Bethlehem of Ephrathah, who are one of the little clans of Judah” [emphasis mine]. Check out: http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/proph/long.html.

Getting back to the lineage of Jesus, you skipped the mention of the descendants between David and Joseph. Maybe because there’s a huge discrepancy between Luke and Matthew? One more thing about that lineage you use so much from Luke: “… He was the son (as was thought) of Joseph son of…” Luke 3.23 [emphasis mine].

So, 1 in 10 to the 17th power? Wow, that number seems a bit… arbitrary. Do you have any evidence to back up your claim, as the numbers relate to the “prophecies”?

Moreover, the Gospel of Matthew was specifically written to try to fulfill the prophecies in order to convince other Jews that Jesus was the Messiah. Not that this was written after Jesus’ death, and based largely on the Gospel of Mark. Don’t you think this would make it just a little bit biased?

I have to preface this by saying that the Church of Scientology is crap.

I forgot to write about this little adventure because it occured during my field trip, which took place while my site was done.

The field trip wasn’t to the Church of Scientology specifically, but to San Francisco, in general. We toured the city. At one point, we passed by the Church of Scientology. My friend was interested in going in since he was doing his history research project on it. How fortunate for us that someone from the Church of Scientology came over to recruit us to visit her church. Apparently, the teacher let us go because she was going to teach us about the architecture. It used to be some old building, don’t remember, you’ll see why soon.

She started off with a little bit about the architecture after she herded us inside. Then, she elegantly segued, mentioning how they changed the building. She pointed to some quotes they had placed on the wall, by their founder, L. Ron Hubbard. Deftly, she directs us to some panels which tell about Scientology, itself.

Everything she says is completely empty. She’s talking, alright. And she’s saying words, and these words make sense to me. Yet, something about these words… “You can be any religion and still belong to the Church of Scientology. Scientology provides the tools to meet spiritual goals…”

“What tools?” I asked, my politic response. I could have said that I thought all she was saying was bullshit, but I didn’t.

“Oh, seminars and classes, to help with marriage, blah blah blah…” Before the “blah’s” I figured it out: It was all for money. Classes? For free? As one says in the famous card game, “BS!”

The next step, some of us were interested in taking their “Free personality test.” However, she offered to show a movie. So, about five of us went in to see the movie, whilst the rest took the test.

Very, very comfortable, the chairs were almost too comfortable, especially after a long day’s journey. Seriously, it was a small movie room, the chairs were comfortable, it was dark, and you never know, she could’ve locked us in. I still wonder if everything we said during the film was recorded.

The film was about Dianetics. What’s Dianetics you ask? I could explain it now, or you can see the film yourself. Okay, okay, I’ll tell you about the film.

The film, supposedly, is based off a true story from the 1950s, and representative of many similar cases. It begins with ultra-cheesy jazz-type music, a dad and a son with a football in the front yard. The kid is then playing football for his high school team. BAM! He’s in the air and hit. Next thing you know, he’s in the hospital. Doesn’t look good. The doctor taps his knee. No reflexes. Tickles his foot. Nothing. He can’t feel the lower half of his body, he says to the other doctor at the foot of the bed, as if the kid on the bed can’t hear.

His girlfriend stops by later. Attack of the bad actors! “Go find someone else who’ll be better for you.” Blah, blah. Yeah, kid, you’re just saying that because you can’t feel your penis. Was that really what the Scientology people were implying? In any case, not good.

From there, the movie gets weird. You can’t really tell when he’s dreaming, and when he’s not. Excuse me if I mess up some things chronologically.

For example, one doctor leaves a book for him. He mentions “psychosurgery” or something like that and how the mind can heal. He goes on about how the kid is crazy, delusional. Later on, a nurse comes along and injects him with a hypodermic needle, Kill Bill vol. 1 style, only the nurse didn’t have an eye patch.

Later on, he’s getting some type of scan, and then you see two doctors talking about him. He’s an interesting case. The only damage is in his cerebral cortex. He’ll be a good one to cut up.

At various points after weird scenes, the kid wakes up, panting. “No surgery,” he demands.

The funniest part is when two doctors are talking about how they’re going to do surgery and how bad his case is, etc, then the camera moves a bit, and you see that they’ve been standing at the foot of the bed the whole time! Well, we got a good laugh out of it.

Eventually, his girlfriend says that one of his friends wanted him to read this… Surprise, surprise: It’s the Dianetics book.

So, the kid reads it. It’s all about how the subconscious represses you. All memories are stored, even when unconscious.

Via a few replayed flashbacks, we figure out that while the kid was flat on the ground, one of his teammates said, “Oh man, he’s never going to walk again.” The point we’re supposed to get from this is that he heard this subconsciously, and that’s why he can’t walk. (Yeah, right, like that’ll help people with severed spines.)

He opens his eyes. “Wiggle your big toe.” Okay, he doesn’t say that, but he does lift the covers, and look at his toes. I wonder if Mr. Tarantino watched the Dianetics movie.

He’s up. He’s walking. He’s jumping on the bed. The music’s back to it’s old cheesy self. He’s changing his clothes.

The doctors walk into the room. They wonder where he went, and then they see him. “What, this isn’t possible,” (the evil) one declares. Two other doctors instantly begin examining him, on with stethoscope ready.

“Get back in bed,” (the evil) one angrily yells. Evidently, they’re mad because they can’t cut him up, as they were planning to do when the camera was on them in the hallway before entering his room.

The kid leaves the book for one of the doctors and walks out. “This could put us out of business,” the man protests as he looks out the window.

Flash forward to the future. Flashback to beginning of movie, cheesy music-wise. His girlfriend is now his wife. He’s playing football with his kid… fade to the best part of the movie.

Titles on the screen first declare something similar to, “Your subconscious is keeping you from reaching your full potential.” And then, more ominously, “Get rid of it.”

The end.

The experience was pretty creepy. I split, with someone else, after watching the movie. The others didn’t have their test results yet, but I didn’t want to stick around.

More on the test tomorrow.

“Whoever is not against us is for us.” Mark 9.40.

“Whoever is not with me is against me…” Matthew 12.30

I’m providing none of my own commentary on this, as of yet.

NOTE: Wording is from The New Oxford Annotated Bible.

Ashley said: “Adam, I know that you think that christianity just started by some people preaching the gospel message but you are way off the mark. The bible is God’s Holy Word, made up of lots of authors that span hundreds of years and yet there is not one contradiction found in the whole thing! This fact is proved by hundreds of books authored by many people who started out believing exactly like you did. I do agree w/ you on the brain issue. Without that, thought would be impossible. But where did that come from? If you believe that it is all just a mere accident then you have more faith than me. I believe that the Lord God created us and put his breath of life into everything in this beautiful world. Just think about this Adam: if you do believe that there is a God and follow the steps needed to be saved what is it hurting? If I am wrong then in the end it won’t matter, correct? but Adam if you are wrong, which you are, when Jesus Christ comes back you will be judged and sent to hell for eternity. I wouldn’t take my chances Adam. It seems to me that you are just a lonely person who has given up on the world, but give God another chance for he has not and never will give up on you.”

Let me make this clear. I am not Adam. She was referring to someone who left a comment in my original Pledge entry.

I’m posting this because I couldn’t stop laughing at the line: “The bible is God’s Holy Word, made up of lots of authors that span hundreds of years and yet there is not one contradiction found in the whole thing!”

*Ahem* skepticsannotatedbible.com

There are lots of contradictions. Poor dear.

[to come later]

In response to my original Pledge of Allegiance critique, Melissa said: “Under God should NOT be taken out of the Pledge. It’s just wrong and everyone knows it. We are dismissing a true and powerful God that sent his son to DIE for us so that we could go to heaven if we just asked Him! Taking Under God out is a big mistake”

You need a reality check: About 2/3 of the world is not Christian. So, be careful how you define everyone. How would taking “under God” out be a big mistake? After all, if i just ask Him, I can get into heaven, anyway, right? So, do you think your god will punish us if we don’t put him in the Pledge of Allegiance… even though God wasn’t originally mentioned in the Pledge for over 50 years? And if he’s so powerful, how come the idea to put “God” in the pledge derives from people? How come he can’t just keep it in there himself? The main point of my argument is that it’s unconstitutional. If it’s “just wrong” to take it out of the Pledge, then I guess the idea that state should be separate from religion is “just wrong” too. Let’s stop governing ourselves, and just ask God to do it, I’m sure that will work.

I go to a Catholic school, as some of you readers might have heard before. Last Friday, we had mass. Technically it wasn’t a mass, just a MLK “celebration of peace,” but whatever, it’s the same thing me as an atheist. Anyway, we had a preacher from, I think, Oakland visit us. He was a rather powerful and articulate speaker, I have to admit, even though he pronounced affluent as affluent (just nitpicking). As other people were getting into it, giving “amens” as requested, I still maintained a cynical detachment. Thus, I caught this one point of hypocrisy. I’m willing to bet $10 that I’m the only one in the building who caught it. This reaffirms my earlier entry that hypocrisy arises from ignorance.

Anyway, here it goes. He says that us kids don’t have to live up to the standard that the media and corporate America gives. We should be who we are and be happy with that. Not too long afterwards, he mentions how we should live up to God’s standards. Granted, one set of standards, the one he condoned, was better than the other. Yet, it’s still hypocritical when to say be who you are, then say you should strive to reach a different standard instead. Perhaps this can be reconciled with a technicality, by saying that those standards allow you to live to your true potential, becoming your true self. Whatever, still seems hypocritical to me.

I also noticed a bit of anti-intellectualism, despite the fact that he did go to a good school (can’t remember which one). It reminded me of our studies in AP US history on the Second Great Awakening. One could argue that we are going through a third.

On a lighter note, his hairstyle made it seem like he could sell an ’84 Ford. I mean, he looked like a used car salesman. But, as you can see from my analysis, I didn’t judge him by his appearances (part of the message of that one guy I mentioned in the beginning). Besides, I couldn’t get a good view from my seat. Yet overall, despite my nitpicking on that one point of hypocrisy, he did give a good talk with a good message.

[01/24/03 – EDIT: Added that link to my earlier entry on hypocrisy, so I also took out “(will add link later)”]

I came upon this site claiming atheism is a religion via atheism.about.com. Anyway, the site claims:

But this [that atheism is not a religion] is like saying that “black,” (which physicists define as the total absence of color) is not a color. The car I drive is a big, old Chevrolet, whose color is black. In common practice throughout the world, “black” is understood to be a color, despite the technical definition of the physicists. Likewise, “Atheism” is a religion, despite any technical definitions to the contrary.

If black is a color, then Atheism is a religion.

The analogy is flawed. The answer is clear when you think about it the right way. What color is a window?

Yes, black is a color, but atheism is still not a religion.

So, I decided to send an e-mail to the webmaster (which is pretty much what I said up here). It’s subject is “Concerning the absence of color” and it reads:

Dear Rev. Bill McGinnis,

In your web page titled “The Religion of Atheism” (found at http://patriot.net/~bmcgin/atheismisareligion.html) you state:

“But [saying atheism is not a religion] is like saying that “black,” (which physicists define as the total absence of color) is not a color. The car I drive is a big, old Chevrolet, whose color is black. In common practice throughout the world, “black” is understood to be a color, despite the technical definition of the physicists. Likewise, “Atheism” is a religion, despite any technical definitions to the contrary.

If black is a color, then Atheism is a religion.”

I believe your analogy is incorrect. An object that is transparent, such as a window, can be said to lack color.

If you believe I am incorrect, please reply. If you believe that I am correct, could you please e-mail me if you decide to make any changes to the aforementioned web page.

Thank you for taking the time to read this e-mail.

I’ll keep you updated if he decides to e-mail back.

I hope I don’t offend too many people, but this site is absolutely hilarious: Psychic Outreach. I have to look around the site some more, and then maybe I’ll add some comments here.

To a skeptic like me, I see the purpose of prayer is to make people feel better. Do they actually know what’s going to happen? No. They just feel as if everything is going to be all right.

Prayer helps ease their minds. The conditions on which they pray about are usually out of their control. It gives them the illusion of having some degree of control. They can invoke their deity to help them in this helpless situation. Does it actually do anything? Hm. Let’s say someone is going to die. If they live, they attribute it to the grace and power of their deity. If they don’t, they say “it was their time,” and that their deity meant for it to happen, and they just don’t understand it. Anything conclusive there?

Let’s say someone’s going in for an operation, and there’s a possibility of death. Someone uses prayer to invoke their deity. The person lives. The person who said the prayer attributes it to the deity. But wait? Where did the deity come into play? Who actually did the work? The doctors! The nurses! Perhaps credit should be given to modern medicine. Religion has been around for millenia. Modern medicine has on been around for a few centuries. Which has measurably saved the most lives?

If someone were ever to do a scientific study to see if prayer actually did anything, well, I doubt there would be any conclusive evidence for the power of prayer.

People pray for larger things, like world peace. Anyone know the exact words of that one quote which says something about one pair of hands doing work do more than a thousand hands clasped in prayer? These goals are really in the hands of the persons involved, which would actually mean everyone, if it’s world peace. Just as prophecies can be self-fulfulling, prayers can be self-fulfilling.

Tomorrow: Contradictions and the nature of prayer.

Why is it considered “disrepectful” when I question someone else’s religious intentions? Somehow, I’m supposed to be “tolerant” of others’ beliefs. If they question their own religion, it’s okay. It’s okay to have doubts about your own religion. Then, why can’t I have doubts about your religion?

If a well-known writer uses biting satire to criticize religion, it’s genius, it’s cool. But if I say similar out-loud, I’m a smart-ass. I’m disrespectful. This isn’t right.

Why can’t I question directly, aggressively? Why can’t I question your beliefs? Does it make you uncomfortable? Maybe you should address the questions instead of avoiding them, instead of saying I’m being disrespectful.

It’s hard for me to be tolerant when I can’t understand the mindset of the other people. I can learn all I want about religion, but I can’t understand what the people are thinking. I can’t understand how people can just believe in something without any evidence.

In one of the songs used during Mass today at school (I go to a Catholic school), it mentions people being the sheep of god’s flock or something. I don’t know, but I find the usage of the word “sheep” amusing. Like, they’re just followers with no mind of their own. If they use sheep to describe themselves, it’s good. I can’t use the word. That’s disrespectful.

Note: When I use the term “You,” I’m usually not speaking directly to “you” the reader. Just imagine this imaginary person, maybe. And yeah, I’m making some generalizations. That’s how humans understand big things. You have to generalize to analyze large trends in human behavior.

I’m probably going to be writing a bit more about religion over the next few days.

I dunno why people find it so enticing to use. (Hey, go do a Google search if you don’t know what it is!) Well, here’s something humorous to ponder:

Pascal’s Wager only really works if the god’s only requirement for heaven, or whatnot, is belief. Because, taking the wager means only believing to avoid hell, so the god has got to say that’s okey-dokey with it. Well, I mean, if you add other requirements… there are so many religions and sects and stuff, you just might end up picking the wrong one! Besides, then you’d be changing the wager, wouldn’t you? The person making the wager makes the case that we just don’t know, so anything is possible. Hm… that god could decide to play the opposite way, and send everyone who believes to hell, and everyone who doesn’t to heaven. You just don’t know, it could be real. Then, hey, my side is safer. Anyway, I figure I’ll just be safe either way. Keep in mind that the only requirement is belief, as I stated earlier. I’ll just not believe because there ain’t no proof. Then, if there is a god and I get sent to hell… I’ll be believing then. I mean, I’ll be in hell, there’s my proof. And that’s all I wanted in the first place. So, I get me my proof, and then, poof, I’m in heaven, because it’s hell that made a believer out of me.

Okay, I bet someone’s come up with that last argument before, but I don’t care… I think it’s a riot, and I came up with it on my own.