I was looking at my bare foot next to my dress shoe and I wondered how that ugly thing fit in that elegant shoe. A dress sock streamlines my foot, and makes it look as if it belongs in the shoe. But that ugly foot really made me ponder shoes. Why do they look as they do?
Whenever I get so detached, everything seems ridiculous to me.
A group of concerned Romans are on a crusade to bring back the real meaning of the holiday season: worshipping the gods. They are demanding that department stores greet their customers with “Bona Saturnalia!” rather than the all-inclusive “Happy Holidays.” So far, their boycott has been unsuccessful, but they are hopeful.
“Of course we’re not going to get results right away. For almost two thousand years, we’ve let them get away with hijacking our holiday. They’ve added so many elements: the creche, Jesus… It’s just not the same holiday. And don’t get me started with the secularists. It’s about time we took back the holiday,” said one unhappy ancient Roman.
Indeed, while we used to look at a representation of Saturnus, now we have Santa Claus. A recent survey indicated that “practically no one except a couple of losers” celebrate Saturnalia.
Still, the ancient Romans are not discouraged. One Roman explains, “It’s not just about taking back our holiday, but about excluding people. That’s what the holiday season is really about: excluding those who don’t share our beliefs.”
Merry Christmas to all — to even the most evil of hearts, and the greatest of liars.
Or Happy Whatever-else-it-is-you-celebrate!
I love how this extreme comment spam problem hits me right when I go on vacation, right when it’s least convenient. Sorry, but I have to disable commenting until I can fix this. Not sure when it’ll be fixed, since I’m on vacation. I might set up TypeKey. I’ll probably update MT when I get back.
A list of movies I’ve seen since I’ve left for Las Vegas (and subsequently arrived):
See y’all on the 28th or 29th. More intermittent entries to come whilst on vacation.
ISP wins $1 billion in spam suit. They so deserved it. I hope this happens to all spammers. I hate spammers more than I hate Communism.
I had a better plan for getting rid of spammers, though. Real spam assassins.
I’m surprised. Bush considers domestic spending freeze. (But… How much more money would we have right now if we hadn’t invaded a country that had no weapons of mass destruction?)
Although I haven’t always been an atheist all my life, I have always been somewhat of a skeptic. I remember an incident in second grade when I was denying the existence of Santa Claus. I was saying it was all our parents doing. Then, one kid said he had once received a present that none of his relatives could have afforded. I was still skeptical, but what could I do against such an anecdote? I conceded that maybe Santa did exist, but for the majority of people, it was still just their parents.
Now, I’m older, and I know for sure there is no Santa. I know his anecdote is wrong. You know what? Despite what the “where’d this present come from” and “I didn’t hire that Santa” sitcom and cartoon endings may indicate, there are no Christmas miracles due to Santa. Santa is a lie.
I didn’t always think of it as a lie. I used to think of Santa as a metaphor. My cousins still believed in Santa at one point, and my parents didn’t want me to “ruin” it for them. So, my mom taught me that Santa was a metaphor for giving. I went with it.
But why ascribe giving to Santa Claus? What’s wrong with giving by itself? There’s no purpose for Santa Claus if it’s just some metaphor. A Santa that is a metaphor is no Santa at all.
I think about gods the same way I think about Santa Claus. (Well, not as a lie.) People give these anecdotes about miracles, but I’m extremely skeptical. I was already duped once with Santa. I’m not going to get duped again. Okay, I realize this statement could offend people, but I really do see it somewhat the same way.
I also will never believe in God as a metaphor. Some people say God is love. I don’t buy it. Why not just believe in love then? A god that is a metaphor is no god at all.
Yes! Kelly won! I was so afraid that Jennifer would win until nearly everyone interviewed said that Kelly was the better candidate. Trump made the right choice. Jennifer seemed to skate by, flying under the radar. It may have been good strategy to get to the finals, but not to win, since Kelly’s record was better.
I really started to like Raj, but then he was fired. When he asked for Robin’s number, that was classic, and my respect for him went sky high. After Raj was fired, my pick was either Andy or Kelly. But I didn’t really like either of them. Andy lost the cell phone, and that was a horrible mistake. Kelly was a good leader, but seemed a bit too dictatorial, and he lacked something.
That something was what more of the first season had. I really really liked Troy, and felt he should’ve been the Apprentice. I even liked Bill way better. The first season just had more passion, but not the bitchy kind of passion the second season candidates had. They were overall more likeable.
And now I’m worried about season three. The first season had some hotties. The second season was mediocre. The third season preview had some weird looking people in it. It’s not just hotness, but I wonder how likeable, and exciting, these people will be. I’m not impressed yet.
almost there… I can make it… just a few more days…
‘No doubt’ Yushchenko suffered dioxin poisoning. Yeah, this is just a little bit bad. I hope he wins the election.
Senate easily passes security reform bill. How can we prevent another 9/11? Why, by adding more bureaucracy! “The bill, which passed 89-2, includes many recommendations of the Sept. 11 commission, such as the creation of a national director of intelligence and a national counter-terrorism center to better coordinate the activities of the nation’s 15 intelligence agencies.” Why didn’t I think of that before? Of course more bureaucracy is the answer to our problems.
Bravo to the two Senators who voted against it.
Just read that today. Yes! They actually dumped a crappy comic! Now, if only the Mercury would do it too…. This is a good sign, but I suppose it would be too much to ask for them to drop Garfield as well.
The other day, I looked at the stars. It’s usually cloudy here, so it was a real treat to see the stars. The sky seems strangely empty, though. Everything is so bright, and there aren’t too many stars. I seem to remember seeing more. After spotting Orion after getting out of the car, I had to go to the backyard and just look at the stars. It felt so weird because I hadn’t seen the stars in so long.
I was reminded of the last time we had a blackout. When I went outside, the world was brighter than it should have been. I couldn’t figure out the source of this eerie bluish light, if all the power was out. It took me a while, but I finally realized that it was coming from the moon. The world was bathed in moonlight. It was so alluring, I almost wanted to stay out there all night and perhaps dance in it. Yet, it was too cold.
It was even colder the night I was looking at the stars, but I had to anyway. I found Orion once more, and I could see not only the belt, but the dagger and the entire constellation. I found the W that was Cassiopeia. But what I really wanted to find was the Big Dipper. The constellation that should always be in the sky no matter what the season… the constellation that helps you find the North Star, so you can find your way home. Only I was already home, and I wanted to find something else. I remembered seeing the Big Dipper as a child (Hah, what am I saying? I’m still a child), and I just wanted to recapture something. But I tried and I tried, and I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t find the Little Dipper either. It was really really frustrating, and even my dad and sister couldn’t find it. I was so disoriented. The sky no longer felt familiar, and I felt as if I should’ve known where everything was, but I couldn’t find anything. I left the night sky very disappointed. I don’t know exactly why, but I really really wanted to see it.
So, if there’s anyone out there, with a clear view of the night sky… take a picture of the Big Dipper for me. I’ll keep looking every night, and as soon as I find it, I’ll take my own picture.
And no, sticking glow in the dark stars on my ceiling is not enough.
I added Patterico’s Pontifications and Unscrewing the Inscrutable on the side, under the “Weblogs” heading. I’ve been reading them for a while, I just never put them up on the main page.
While I’m in the linking mood… I found this i weblog therefore i am, from Lloyd, to be very amusing.
Also, note to self: I need to think up some new categories for this here agnoiologist weblog.
News story: Court orders repeat Ukraine poll.
I’m relieved and ecstatic that the court ordered a new vote, but this news article doesn’t make me any more comfortable.
All we get of the detailed accounts of election fraud that must’ve been submitted to their supreme court is that it’s a “controversy [that] broke out when the presidential run-off vote on November 21 was handed to Mr Yanukovich despite strong polling signs that Mr Yushchenko had won.” Yeah, strong polling signs. That’s what started the controversy. That’s what the over 11,000 complaints to regional courts are complaining about. (See news article in previous entry.)
I’ll tell you this: It isn’t about some symbolic dispute between Russia and the West… it’s about democracy. And yet still, after the courts decided, the widespread electoral fraud is only “alleged.”
I don’t get it. Why can’t you just put one little line about the details of the widespread and blatant election fraud? What are you trying to hide? Why are you trying to hide it? Why? Just one sentence. It’s not that hard.
Look, you even wrote a whole Q&A article on the Ukraine electoral fraud, and still, you won’t put why! WHY ARE YOU HIDING THIS! (Oops, I meant electoral “crisis” not fraud.) How come no one asked, “What types of electoral fraud were alleged?” See, you could’ve still put “alleged” in there and put something. But no. You don’t. And I think it’s because you’re trying to hide something.
Democracy and truth triumphed. That’s what just happened in Ukraine, in case anyone can’t figure it out from the article, or from any other article.
Someone today in class asked me what was going on in Ukraine. Indeed, what is going on in Ukraine? You hear about election fraud but just what the hell happened? When I saw one news story (can’t find it anymore), all I saw was mention of discrepancy in exit polls. I was going to completely trash this so-called election fraud. Glad I wasn’t so quick on the draw.
This is a must-read: Revealed: the full story of the Ukrainian election fraud. (Note: Found this via Patterico’s Pontifications, which found it from Captain’s Quarters.
But check out this MSNBC article, Talks fail to resolve Ukraine election dispute. Priceless. All we see is mention of election fraud. So, so, people, tell me, why is the American media hiding this? Why? A quick google search on “ukraine election fraud” and none of the American articles reference the obvious travesty of democracy.
I’d like to emphasize something else in the article. Notice the headline, and then notice the picture of happy people with their arms thrown up. Talks fail… *CHEER!*
Well, people, if Yanukovich pulls this off, you can fear for the future of democracy. I know both candidates are urging for violence not to happen, but shouldn’t you fight if an election is so obviously stolen? A government that no longer represents the people should be overthrown. I only hope that a new election will be held.
Compared to this, Afghanistan’s election went ahead without a hitch.
The Jeopardy guy, Ken Jennings, lost! I tune in to Jeopardy after not watching it for a really long time, and I see him lose. I can’t believe it!
That guy is uber-crazy. 2.5 million dollars. From Jeopardy. Damn, I don’t think anyone will ever win as long as he did.
If you never tell a bad joke, it means you never tell enough jokes. I tell bad jokes all the time. That just means I tell too many jokes. Too many bad jokes.
I’ve run out of funny material, but I will keep pressing on, keep telling unfunny things until, finally, I find it again. Because if I say nothing, it’s just as unfunny.
Or maybe I never really had it in the first place. I know I have said some funny things occasionally, but for the longest time, I never considered myself a funny person. Now, I’m starting to think of myself as a funny person, but I’m quickly running out of things to say.
Then again, maybe I just need a rest from the funny. Try to be serious for a while. Let the funniness recharge.
A weblog becomes very interesting when one thinks aloud, does it not? Or maybe it becomes less entertaining?
I don’t know. I really can’t tell anymore. I’ll just stick with what works. (Doesn’t work?)
Tomorrow: Back to regular ol’ commentary.
“Catch 22” is the best novel I have ever read. Period. It is also the funniest.
This article pissed me off: Declaration of Independence Banned at Calif School.
Right after a quote about supposed discrimination against Christians, we get this ending paragraph, “In June, the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear the case of a California atheist who wanted the words “under God” struck from the Pledge of Allegiance as recited by school children. The appeals court in California had found that the phrase amounted to a violation of church and state separation.”
… what the hell?
Tell me, what the hell does that have to do with anything at all in the article? Nothing, actually. It’s just a sneaky way to make people think that taking the words “under God” back out of the Pledge of Allegiance equals persecution against Christians. Sorry, wrong.
There’s just a few minor differences. First off, the Pledge of Allegiance did not originally have “under God” in it. That’s why I said “back out” in that previous sentence. We got through two world wars without saying “under God” in our Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah, that’s right, the “greatest generation” did not start out saying “God” in their Pledge of Allegiance. How’s that for tradition?
Second difference: the word pledge. It’s a pledge of allegiance! Can you get that through your minds?! Not a document of historical importance. (Again, I must note that “under God” wasn’t in there in the first place.) It’s a PLEDGE! Doesn’t that mean something to you? Doesn’t it mean that it means the government is endorsing God if it’s in the pledge of allegiance? If you agree, then I must inform you, there’s a little thing standing in the way of keeping “under God” in the pledge… and that thing is called the Constitution.
… which brings me back to the Declaration of Independence. I don’t know the context, but I think it’s stupid to ban the Declaration of Independence. It’s stupid to ban all historical documents that have mention of God. There, I said it. It is stupid. Because that’s misrepresenting history. But let’s analyze this situation a little deeper: It is not discrimination against Christians to ban these documents. Why? Because some of the Founding Fathers were deists. It’s not specific against Christianity. So there. Nyah.
Anyway, the real point non-technicality point I want to make is: So what if the Declaration of Independence says “God” in it? People wave that around as if it’s proof of God. Yeah well, there’s a little thing standing in your way again, and that’s the Constitution. Guess what’s the basis of our laws? Guess… I’ll make it easier. Multiple choice: Is it A) Declaration of Independence, or B) Constitution. If you answered A, you are wrong.
The Constitution is the basis of our laws here in the United States. So, you can wave around your historical opinions, but I’d rather stick with the document that makes us a more perfect union.
It’s not okay if the teacher has a specifically Christian agenda and is shoving said agenda down his students’ throats. It’s okay to have these documents if he’s teaching real history, not his evangelical version of it. Wait, you may ask, why can’t the teacher teach it if he wants to? Isn’t it a freedom of speech issue? No, it’s not. The teacher is getting paid by the government, and is working at a state institution. The teacher is essentially acting as a state official in his position, and the state cannot promote a specifically Christian agenda.
If you teach that some of the Founders were deeply religious, you must also teach that they so valued religion that they deemed it necessary to separate it from government. The personal views of some Founding Fathers do not make this a Christian Nation. And so, before I end this entry, I must invoke the Constitution one more time. Remember, the Constitution does not say any god made this nation, but starts out with “We the people”.
Little known tic tac toe tidbit: Starting on the side is just as good as starting in the middle. With both starting points, there are four moves your opponent can make that will make you win.
Of the seven deadly sins, which one are you? In case you don’t know them: envy, greed, lust, sloth, gluttony, wrath, and pride.
Geeze, I hate naming the seven deadly sins. I always forget one. It’s never the same one, but I always forget one, nonetheless. It’s like naming the seven dwarves, or reciting my phone number.
Anyway, you might be wondering, which sin am I? It’s really a toss-up between greed and pride. Some people tell me I’m greed, some people tell me I’m pride. I think I’m pride.
Don’t be shy, leave a comment. But don’t give me any of the “little bit of each” crap. There’s always one. Which sin are you?
Veteran CBS news anchor Dan Rather to step down. Yeah, Rather steps down, but he’s not actually completely out. He’ll still be working for CBS. Psh. Like I said before, lying to the American public just isn’t as important as other issues.
This part was the best: “‘It is baffling that a journalist with Rather’s skill and experience could have made such an egregious mistake on the Bush National Guard documents story,’ Hanson said, while adding, ‘it was not an error that should define his career, but to many detractors it will.'”
It’s not baffling, if you think he did it on purpose. It’s just not in my cynical nature to give him the benefit of doubt. Besides, consider Ockham’s Razor… malicious intent is a simple explanation and it makes sense.
What makes TV so much better than real life is reruns.
My senior quote for the yearbook: “I will take a yardstick to God himself, and measure him.”
Very bold.
It was that, or “If Jesus was a professional wrestler, what would be his finishing move?” I decided on the yardstick one because it was bolder.
I was going to mention this earlier, but I completely forgot. However, it is still relevant.
Someone in one of my classes, after Bush’s victory, criticized Bush because his electoral map was the same as 2000, and it meant that he hadn’t convinced anyone new.
Hm… Let’s see. Bush lost the popular vote in 2000, and won it this year. Even with Bush’s bad job as president, he still won. Who is it that didn’t convince the electorate?
That’s some of the worst spin ever. Bush didn’t convince anyone? The winner didn’t convince anyone? The winner who got a clear popular majority? The winner with the most votes for president ever? Methinks it was John Kerry and the Democratic Party who didn’t convince anyone.
I doubt my experience is a truly isolated one. If you know anyone who embraces this myth, please set them straight.
It takes two to polarize the nation.
Picture of bus. From Halloween. We won for best group. More details later.
Finally broke my beginner record… new time: 3.
I also have a new intermediate time (this was done earlier, but I never posted it): 31.
Expert is still 88.
schizo killer: better that you learn your life lessons
schizo killer: from The Apprentice
schizo killer: than Pokemon
BuRniNgCiGar: LOL
BuRniNgCiGar: hey that line is classic
BuRniNgCiGar: “i want to be the very best”
BuRniNgCiGar: and u live by it too
BuRniNgCiGar: so STFU
