For my latest English assignment, I have to take two timed writes I’ve done and combine them into one great essay. Hasn’t my teacher ever heard of alchemy? You can’t just transmute gold from piles of shit, I mean, lead. It’s not taking a rough work and polishing it into a gem… I don’t have the base materials: It’s an impossible transmutation. Fortunately, my brilliant mind is its own Philosopher’s Stone.