I’ve lately lacked the desire to make comics. I’m not sure what it is. Perhaps it’s exhaustion. Perhaps it’s that I’ve gotten wrapped up in Game of Thrones, along with the rest of my friends.

Or perhaps it’s the lack of stories in my life. I don’t get that much social interaction at work. I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of miss all the people at college. Nostalgia tells me things were rather vibrant back then. I like interacting with lots of different people. I liked that I could look at all these different subjects. Despite being a philosophy major, I took classes in many different departments.

Well, let me point out a specific behavior that has changed. I used to pass by acquaintances, and they would ask me how I was. Instead of saying “good,” I would say something quick that was maybe humorous. I felt like enough things happened that I could say something interesting. Currently, I don’t feel like I spend that much time observing the world around me, and so I don’t have as much to report. So, that’s what I mean by a lack of stories.

Lightning strikes less and less. I haven’t felt inspired lately with comic ideas. I write less. My comic ideas don’t amuse me as much.

Then, there’s the stagnation… You see, I hate facebook because the way it quantifies the worth of my comics. I have X number of fans. I have so many likes. Ugh, yet it’s there and I can’t help but judge myself by the numbers. And they’ve been rather dreary. The number of fans has been level for months. The likes and comments have dwindled down. It’s all so uninspiring.

As I stared at the stagnating numbers, I had a realization: I’ve gone as far as I can with the amount of effort I put in. My comic has plateaued. I have the number of fans I deserve. I can’t go farther unless I put more into it.

I certainly don’t want to stay the same. It’s within the realm of possibility, but it is not something I want to do. I don’t want to just tread water. To me, stagnation is a sign of degradation. Things are getting worse. I’m moving backwards.

That leaves me with two choices: Put more effort into it, or kill it.

I’ve done this comic a long time. I started in my last year of high school. That was over 6 years ago, now. Perhaps it’s time to move on. The problem with putting more effort into it is that I don’t have some burning desire to be a cartoonist. It doesn’t pay well, and I’m not great at drawing, haha.

That being said, I must create. If I don’t have a creative outlet, I’ll explode into little tiny bits.

I’ve killed projects before. I used to have a website: psycho-ward.org. I started that in middle school. Then, I started writing less and less. Eventually, I killed it. But right at the end, I started making new comics. I even planned to make a new website. But instead, I stuck with the comics because I liked it. What would replace The Chalkboard Manifesto? Coding? Blogging?

What would the more effort route involve? Perhaps upping comics to 5 times a week. Studying more comics. I’ve occasionally picked up books of newspaper comics from the library, but I haven’t done that in maybe a year. Getting better at drawing. Talking more with the fans. Building up some type of presence. Maybe quitting facebook to focus less on the numbers.

I was going to give myself a deadline of the end of the week to make a decision, but why wait? I already know which way I lean. I think The Chalkboard Manifesto deserves one last hurrah. I’ll set a date for the 5x a week schedule.

I’ve always had this fear of running out of ideas. I thought I’d conquered it, but it’s creeping up again. Like I said, the ideas aren’t as bountiful as they used to be. But I think this time, if I run out of ideas, it’s okay. It means it’s the end. And I’ll move on to something new.