Bill Simmons on Mikhail Prokhorov:

Q: On a scale of A.C. Green to George Clooney, what kind of bachelor is this guy?

A: By all accounts, it seems as though he exceeds Clooney or comes close. He’s proud enough of his game that, on two separate occasions, he brought a “60 Minutes” crew and a Business Week reporter to the Soho Room, a hopping club in Moscow, and had no problem cavorting with upward of 20 women. He told Kroft, “Frankly speaking, I like women. In my heart, I am still teenager. And I am very open and I don’t want to hide this.” Then explained that he hasn’t married yet because he hasn’t found a beautiful woman who cooks well enough to please him, adding, “I think women make the same mistake with me all the time. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

(Quick tangent: First, that’s an awesome high school yearbook quote. Second, that sounds like an open challenge to every hot, buxom single female chef out there … assuming that person exists. And third, don’t we have the makings of the greatest reality-TV season ever? It could be a cross between “The Bachelor” and a cooking show: Start with 25 eligible ladies, and over the next 10 weeks, MRMC would whittle the number down based on looks, interactions and cooking challenges. How many times do you think one of the girls would hiss about another girl, “She’s not here for the right reasons, she doesn’t even like cooking!” Like, 30? I demand that this show happens. Come on, ABC. Step it up.)

That reality TV show sounds amazing.