I don’t know when’s the last time I felt this, or if I’ve even felt this before. Suddenly, I’ve crossed some type of threshold. I’m no longer waiting for things to end, but I’m waiting for things to begin. It’s an incredible feeling, seeing those infinite possibilities ahead of me.
For the past four years (at least), I’ve waited for the semester to end. I live my life for that, then summer starts. Yet always in the back of my head is this nagging feeling: that this will end. So I spend all semester waiting for school to end and all summer dreading the end of the summer.
But now, I don’t even care about getting out of here. I can think the thought, but it immediately slips out of my mind. It has no purchase. Go ahead, ask me: Are you glad to be done with school? Whatever. The question is incomprehensible. The future fills my mind.
I’ve thought about doing a general retrospective about my college experience, but I don’t know how useful it will be. I tend to live my life with some degree of awareness. If there are any useful lessons to cull, it appears that I would have learned them whilst I was going to college. A full-blown retrospection will only focus on the negative, and that just won’t be useful at all. My lessons have already been developed within my notebook, or are in the process of development. If I do look back at all, I must do so with the intent of focusing on my best moments. Capture those and see what I did right.
So, back to the future. I feel incredibly giddy, even though I’ve still one final to go. Ahead of me lies infinite possibilities. Ask me about the future, what do I plan to do, and I will answer: I don’t know yet, but I’m eager to explore. I have my comic; I have a summer job; and I have options to explore. I can remake my identity.
And then there’s that image that keeps coming to my mind: Infinite possibilities.