Here’s a compilation of my facebook statuses from 2007:

Shawn is using the present continuous tense again. Facebook is so limiting.
Shawn is out of ideas for facebook statuses.
Shawn is SNOW DAY!!!
Shawn is partly cloudy.
Shawn is FUCK ESSAYS.
Shawn is super duper serial.
Shawn is finding a desire to reconnect with nature.
Shawn is badly grammers. wof,.
Shawn is going to be a moderator at the Iraq War Panel. Please come and bring all your friends.
Shawn is wearing one sock.
Shawn is the measure of all things.
Shawn is fucking fucked. Fuck.
Shawn is tickled by redundancy tickled by redundancy.
Shawn is not a dirty liar. Unlike Kant.
Shawn is going to follow this sentence with a really short one. Or not.
Shawn is desperately trying to live in a world of reality.
Shawn is updating his comic four times a week again. Yes.
Shawn is starting to get bored. There is only so much Law & Order one can take.
Shawn is making funny faces in the mirror.
Shawn is updating his status.
Shawn is good people.
Shawn is going to Vegas on Saturday. You will not be missed. Just kidding.
Shawn is in Baltimore. *sigh*.
Shawn is not going to live a boring life.
Shawn is ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone.
Shawn is a medical mystery.
Shawn is OMG LT U failed me.
Shawn is not contagious. Hooray!
Shawn is a super fighting robot.
Shawn is upset over upsets.
Shawn is finally fini– oh wait, there’s still one more essay to do.
Shawn is far too busy, being delicious.
Shawn is bored again, after a fantastic weekend.
Shawn is not in a hurry.
Shawn is hiding his girl scout cookies. No, you can’t have some.
Shawn is Scott Baio-wulf.
Shawn is a weevil in a captain’s biscuit.
Shawn is cavorting in the snow.
Shawn is staying fresh, staying cool… with Mentos fresh and full of life!
Shawn is home, bitches!
Shawn will now be using different tenses.
Shawn is no longer Wii-less.