Modern society gives us the distinct displeasure of seeing mass death up close.

To simultaneously feel every death as our own, to feel all those dreams extinguished. To raucously laugh at the death of millions, to laugh at the greatest tragedy. Humanity is at once sublime and meaningless. To live this fundamental contradiction is to be perfectly human: To both be perfectly empathetic and be absurdly detached. Laugh and cry. Cry and laugh. Your life means everything and nothing. Does this mean nothing and everything are the same thing?

No, this can’t be right. But I want to laugh nonetheless at all we do.

Taking yourself seriously is as great a sin as not taking yourself seriously, but both are not as horrible options as being neutral. Choice: Take yourself seriously. Choice: Don’t take yourself seriously. Choice: Neutrality. Choice: Both — Take yourself seriously and don’t take yourself seriously. Choice: All 3.

Is it possible to choose more than one? I must reject neutrality at all costs. I must be human.

Both? At the same time? At different times? To all degrees at all times?

Life only has meaning when you kiss the ground like Alyosha and pledge to love everything. This is the only way we can have dreams. Liberty only exists when you’re able to throw off this burden from your back and act as if nothing matters. This is the only way we can achieve our dreams.

Love cannot exist without fear. Fear of loss. The prospect of attachment, because we live in a finite world, must also mean that we experience sadness with loss. Love everything, but then you cannot move. What happens if you go wrong?

Laughter is our one recourse. Only laughter can break the paralysis. Only in laughter is there freedom. Only in laughter is there action. Laugh at your ridiculous love. What do you love but nothingness?

I laugh. Soon, the world fades away. Only I exist within the surrounding blackness. There is nothing. Why should I move? I stand still, as paralyzed as before.

Only love can answer “Why?” Only laughter can answer “How?”

So, both. Somehow.