I have lost track of an important part of my self-identity. There used to be a searching me. I would spend nights thinking about life and life’s purpose. I would ponder over the meaning of abstract concepts (like love and morality).

I was searching for a complete theory of everything — of morality, government, etc. I have since decided that such an abstract all-encompassing theory is not the right way to go about things. In addition, I discovered two fundamental truths: 1) Life is absurd and 2) Love everything. Maybe figuring out how these “answers” worked together discouraged me from further searching.

But my quest for a life philosophy is still incomplete. These answers have no grounding. Can they have grounding? What sort of grounding can they have?

Furthermore, these aren’t fully practical guides for living my life. They are good broad philosophical stances (or commands, in the case of the latter truth), but they can’t tell me what to do in certain situations.

In a certain way, this year has been devoted to practical personal improvement. I like to think that I’ve made some strides: I’ve introduced new paradigms into my life (more on that some other time). What I’m missing, however, is an attachment between these purely practical considerations and my metaphysicals considerations.

That sounds like a very interesting project which I have no idea how to begin. I will start by writing junk in my notebook, like always.

I have a different project, which I think I will link up to this other project eventually. I am trying to answer a question: Are ethics contingent on human nature?

I believe this question cuts to the very nature of ethics and understanding ethics will help me apply it in my life.

Tomorrow: What sparked this question and how I intend to explore it.

Note on politics: The surge has not accomplished what it was supposed to accomplish: There was no political reconciliation in the Iraqi government. And now, Bush intends to draw down 30,000 troops? Surely, the violence of the insurgents and sectarians will increase! What was the purpose of the surge, then, except to buy 6 more months and to keep us in Iraq indefinitely? Our military is not big enough to do what Bush wants done. Our military is not structured for nation-building. We should withdraw.