Crowds of immigrants and their supporters marched today in many Canadian cities, casting off the old fears of illegal status to assert that they have a right to free healthcare in Canada. Twelve million American liberals, tired of attempting to pass legislature for universal healthcare in the United States, have moved to Canada without documentation, in order to receive what they believe they have a right to, what all humans have a right to.

All over Canada, undocumented American immigrants finally came out of the shadows, waving upside-down Canadian flags while demanding dignity. The marches took place in big cities like Toronto and Montreal, and smaller communities as well. Some of the marchers invoked tactics of the civil rights era, and others simply came because they shared a deep hatred for George W. Bush.

In Ottawa, Ontario, rally organizers estimated the crowd to be about 100,000. Local police placed the crowd around 20,000. Still, it was the largest rally the sleepy Canadian metropolis had ever seen.

One man, Howard Reid, 54, was at the rally with his wife and his child. He explained the importance of bringing his child to this event, “My kid is marching for what’s rightfully his. He was a poor orphan until one day he broke into my house and demanded that I raise him. We’re here to make his dream come true for children all around the world.”

The rallies, part of what some organizers were calling the National Day for Immigrant Entitlement, drew the unemployed, ex-felons, old hippies, lazy bums, and babies in strollers. The marches were peaceful, and many of them had a picnic-like atmosphere, with obnoxious American pop music providing a backdrop to the assertive talk of new rights for a group that has until recently lived ostracized, trapped in dark enclaves such as MoveOn.Org.

Fears of xenophobia rose as one or two Canadians staged counter-protests, politely asking the Americans not to be so loud. Dianne Clinton, 33, an American mother of fifteen children who lack healthcare, was asked about her reaction to Canadian claims that the Americans were not going to assimilate.

“I’ve always wanted to assimilate into Canadian culture,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to leave my door unlocked, and I hate George W. Bush. I’ve wanted to be a Canadian since a famous movie star said he’d move to Canada if Bush won in 2000.”

Although they were far from the birthplace of the civil rights movement, several signs evoked imagery of the movement led by Dr. Martin Luther King. One such sign read, “We have a healthcare dream too.” Other signs called for equality: “Illegals are still citizens!”

“We are in a situation that Rosa Parks was in several years ago: enough is enough,” said Lionel Newman, 32, who came here from Detroit and now spends his time in a park in Edmonton. “Martin Luther King once had a dream that all people would have free healthcare, no matter what nation they happened to come from. We have that dream too.”

The marches come at a time when Parliament – and indeed, the nation – is torn over what to do with this burgeoning population of undocumented American immigrants.

A recent poll released by CBC News indicated that 70 percent of Canadians agree with the statement: “They’re just here to mooch off our healthcare, and they should get oot of here.”

In Calgary, the demonstrators protested a recent Canadian bill that would give all Americans healthcare provided they learned to adopt a Canadian accent. They were joined by the mayor, Dave Brokennier.

“I want to express support for the Calgary American community,” he said. “All people, no matter where they come from, deserve free Canadian healthcare without any restrictions. I oppose this mean-spirited legislation.”

This piece of satire was inspired by (and directly lifted some language from) the April 10, 2006 article,
Immigration Advocates Rally Across U.S., by Maria Newman of the New York Times.