What is my purpose? I read to read. I write to write. I take classes for what purpose? I must return to my New Year’s resolution.

I have realized that I have lost the way in writing essays. I simply write just to put things on paper, in the idea that “You can’t edit what you don’t have written down.” Very true, but I’ve been struggling as of late, with my essays. I realize it’s because I need purpose. I must not write to write. I must not write to go through motions. Each step must be for the purpose of making a completed essay. Not just to get stuff down on paper.

I have realized that I have lost the way in my classes. I am just taking classes and for what purpose? I experiment with different classes and to what end? I am rudderless without knowing my major. However, I should not use that excuse in order to not have a purpose. My purpose should be determining my major. It is the same if you are approaching a battle and you are unsure of what course of action to take. Reconnaissance is not done just for the sake of reconnaissance. Reconnaissance is done with the intent of winning the battle.

I have realized that I have lost the way in reading for my classes. I read just to get the reading done. I think of nothing else. There must be a higher purpose in mind. To read for pleasure is certainly a goal that can be had, but it is not this way for classes.

I have realized that I have lost the way with my comic. I go through the motions simply trying to catch up with updating. I must have a higher goal in mind. I must actively work on these steps, not merely think about them.

Truly, I have lost my way. I merely go through the day, trying to survive. I merely go through my day, often losing my way. I lose hours upon hours of time, and for what purpose? Just to put off my work. There must be a better way.

I noticed that when I was doing research for a particular project, I merely looked at news articles. I didn’t aggregate or anything until later. Once I was finished with the articles, I stopped working. I have since realized that I did this without the express purpose of completing my work. I did this without any end in mind. In fact, I planned on not finishing. That’s a big problem. Every move should be a killing move.

If I wish to truly follow my New Year’s resolution, I must apply it to every facet of life. Two months and 13 days have gone by, and what have I done? All I have done is lost my way, constantly.

This entry was written with the express purpose of returning myself to that day, January 1, 2006. This entry was written with the express purpose of refocusing my energies. This entry was written with the express purpose of returning to my way:

Every move is a killing move.