This entry is largely a self-indulgent exercise. I’m not sure how much anyone else will care, but I’m putting it up for myself to look back upon.

Personally, I’ve seen some ups and downs. Not a bunch of them, but a few long-term trends. Started off excited in 2005, went downhill for a while, then came back sometime before summer. Summer was one wacky fun time, then I went to college. Kept the high going, met a bunch of people, and then crashed sometime in October. Big downward spiral, then a levelling off. Starting to rebuild myself with the trip to Atlanta. Now, I’m back home, ready to kick 2006 in the ass.

I used to update Psycho-ward.org all the time, but updates were sparse during 2005. I pretty much killed the website in April. I’ve only had BOTBC updates, I think. The website is going to stay dead in 2006, but I’m working on something new.

I read all the entries in my weblog from this past year. Some interesting stuff. After review, I think there’s too much vitriol in this world, and I will strive to continue making this weblog less vitriolic. I’ve noticed a thing that happens when I debate with other people (in real life conversation): I try to reduce issues to their core. I started discussing Iraq with someone and then found out he didn’t even truly believe in democracy. I’m just going to use this weblog to further develop my own political ideology — in a non-vitriolic fashion, of course. Hopefully, I’ll figure non-political stuff about myself too. I’ve strayed from satire. I like satire; it has its uses, but they’re limited. I’d rather explain and convince than condescend.

The Chalkboard Manifesto doesn’t seem to be receiving quite as many votes as it started to get over summer, but its readership is growing, and that’s more important. I’ve also noticed some pics being used on MySpace. I think that’s cool. I also like the friends I’ve been receiving on MySpace who are fans of my comic.

In the social dimension, I’ve grown. I like to think I’m more amiable and more outgoing than I used to be. Still working on that one, though.

Am I better off now than I was at the beginning of 2005? Yes. I’m done with high school. I’ve made giant steps in my development of an all-encompassing personal philosophy. I’ve read a lot of books. I’m more knowledgeable. I think I’m a better person.

Here’s a question I don’t really want to ask myself: Am I closer to the presidency than I was at the beginning of the year?

I think because of my social growth, I’ve made a baby step towards my goal. I also read a few presidential biographies, but the game is changing and I wonder how much use those will be. Also, I guess you could say that starting to develop an all-encompassing personal philosophy (including politics) is a step in the right direction. I’m tempted to say that my overall progress has been negligible. However, there are a few things that I would say mean I’m in a much better place than in the beginning of the year. I’ve reaffirmed my resolve for this goal. That’s something. The big thing, though, is that I’ve discovered within myself a deep faith in democracy. It seems to be something many smart people lack. This realization in itself is enough to say that I’ve made a lot of progress.

How about my New Year’s resolution? I only had one for this year: Seize the day. Didn’t quite work out. I abandoned the goal sometime in April. I just wasn’t satisfied with seizing whims, it seemed like. During summer, I semi-returned to this goal following an “Everyday is an adventure” mentality, making sure to make the most out of each day. When I got to JHU, I made an effort to meet as many people as I could each day. Then, (this was part of the downward trend) it started raining and I holed up in my room. Perhaps I seized the day once more in Atlanta, but it still felt like I was seizing whims. Now, however, I’ve found a way to refine my goal for next year. That’s something I reveal tomorrow: my New Year’s resolutions for 2006.

Good-bye 2005. You treated me well, for the most part. I learned a lot.

Thanks to anyone who read this weblog at any point during 2005. Hope I provoked some thought.

See you next year.