Please download this one page Word document: The Agnoiologist Vol I, Issue 2. Fuck Johns Hopkins.

For those of you too lazy to download the document, or if you don’t have Word, the text of the articles is in the Extended Entry.

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Just got this bulletin from MySpace:

“Jesus. I. love. you. and. I. need. you. Repost this within 5 minutes and title it: MY PARTY. A miracle will happen tonight. P.S. Do not ignore *God works in mysterious ways*”

This just in, being God’s friend on MySpace is requirement for getting into heaven. In addition, being Jesus’s friend on MySpace is an acceptable alternative to accepting him as your savior. This too: If you leave a cool picture comment for St. Peter, he’ll put in a good word for you with the G-man.

My goodness, God does work in some mysterious ways.

P.S. Don’t ever break a chain letter that God sends out. He’ll smite you.