I saw something the other day at dinner that convinced me that I want to leave Johns Hopkins. I saw Sarah at dinner after not having seen her for a while. When I met her earlier in the year, she was really excited about meeting new people, as I was.

During dinner, she was much more subdued. She was thinking about transferring, as I am. It was so odd to see her like that… it seemed as if Hopkins had sucked the life-force out of her. And I think it has done the same to me. I wonder if that’s how I appear. Although, I tend to show my sorrows a little differently: bitter cynicism.

Still, it was a lesson learned. I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s not just me; it’s this place. By coming here and hating it, I’ve learned to appreciate California that much more. Then again, she’s a local. I guess it’s just Hopkins.

But you can see why I’ll do better if I go to a different place, right? Here, I can’t achieve anything because I’ll never be motivated enough. If I only get good grades and do nothing else, I’ll feel that I’ve wasted four years of my life. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to not waste one year of my life.