SCHIZO KILLER: Since you’ve decided to become an instant messenger addict, I think I should teach you about “profiles”

foley2012: im not addicted yet but ok

SCHIZO KILLER: you go into that menu that says “My AIM” and then click “Edit Profile…”

SCHIZO KILLER: and then you can write something humorous so that everyone will think that you are cool

foley2012: really?

foley2012: i want to be cool so bad

foley2012: so very very bad

foley2012: im trying to think of something hilarious

foley2012: and inciteful

foley2012: and inspiring

foley2012: and profound

foley2012: all at the same time

SCHIZO KILLER: I think if you found something like that, the universe would explode

Ryan’s profile:

you must think im cool because you are looking at my profile right now. im glad that you think im cool because i am. i am so cool. you probably are reading this because you want to be as cool as me. not very many people are. however, im used to conversing with people that are not as cool as me, so i wont be disappointed if you want to talk to me.

Later that day

SCHIZO KILLER: I am impressed by your profile. You are so cool… I want to have sex with you and touch your boobies.

foley2012: haha

foley2012: thank u only a few people are as cool as myself u should feel proud to speak to me

Other AIM Hilarity

WeirdJosh: oh gross

WeirdJosh: I have hair stuck to the bottom of my foot >_<

WeirdJosh: and it looks like it’s been glued there for a while

SCHIZO KILLER: ew

SCHIZO KILLER: glued?

WeirdJosh: by what seems like it could be melted dead skin, or deoderant, or something

SCHIZO KILLER: UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH NASTY!

WeirdJosh: fucking grody

WeirdJosh: ugh, gross

WeirdJosh: I think it *WAS* dead skin

WeirdJosh: @_@

Addendum

SCHIZO KILLER: now that you’re in my weblog, it means you’re famous

foley2012: yes

foley2012: !

foley2012: im a superstar