Note: I decided to split up the originally planned giganterrific entry into at least two parts. Here’s number one.

I love dressing up. I always look so much damn nicer and fashionable. The other day, for Mass (I go to a Catholic school), it was a mandatory dress-up day. Why? New bishop in town. I don’t like them telling us it’s mandatory, but hey, I bought a nice suit, and I’m going to get my money’s worth.

I wore my tannish shirt, which looks almost gray in the right lighting with my blue tie. Suit jacket. Suit pants.

Oh yeah, and the blue tie: silk and striped. It is a sexy tie. I should take a picture of it.

To excentuate the look of the awesome business man, I stuck a dollar bill in my front coat pocket (normally where maybe a handkerchief would go). “Here’s a dollar, go buy yourself a life,” I said. I knew I looked slick, and I got some compliments, even from the principal.

Usually, when I’m up presenting for class, I’m rather nervous. Or, I can be nervous. My leg will shake if I’m not careful. I try to be calm inside, and usually I am, but my damn body won’t let me be 100 percent calm. No problems in the suit during the latest presentation. And I realize, the clothes do make the man.

I also must say: the dollar bill is the best suit accessory ever. Just make sure no one takes it, or that you’re so rich it doesn’t matter.