Monthly Archives: March 2004

Not One Contradiction

Ashley said: “Adam, I know that you think that christianity just started by some people preaching the gospel message but you are way off the mark. The bible is God’s Holy Word, made up of lots of authors that span hundreds of years and yet there is not one contradiction found in the whole thing! This fact is proved by hundreds of books authored by many people who started out believing exactly like you did. I do agree w/ you on the brain issue. Without that, thought would be impossible. But where did that come from? If you believe that it is all just a mere accident then you have more faith than me. I believe that the Lord God created us and put his breath of life into everything in this beautiful world. Just think about this Adam: if you do believe that there is a God and follow the steps needed to be saved what is it hurting? If I am wrong then in the end it won’t matter, correct? but Adam if you are wrong, which you are, when Jesus Christ comes back you will be judged and sent to hell for eternity. I wouldn’t take my chances Adam. It seems to me that you are just a lonely person who has given up on the world, but give God another chance for he has not and never will give up on you.”

Let me make this clear. I am not Adam. She was referring to someone who left a comment in my original Pledge entry.

I’m posting this because I couldn’t stop laughing at the line: “The bible is God’s Holy Word, made up of lots of authors that span hundreds of years and yet there is not one contradiction found in the whole thing!”

*Ahem* skepticsannotatedbible.com

There are lots of contradictions. Poor dear.

Updating Irony

Not too long ago, I said I didn’t want to miss a day of updating. Lately, I’ve not felt like updating at all. Ironic.

You know what else is ironic? The Disney movie Hercules. He’s a classical Greek hero, but the music is modern and African in its roots. Now that, that is irony.

A Couple

Something to file in my “Things I Don’t Understand” box: Why do people use the expression “a couple”? It has 3 syllables. Two only has 1 syllable. [to be elaborated upon at a later date.]

A Song About a Chair

Why does practically every pop song (from any era) have to sing about love? Not that I have anything against love, it’s just that, for once, I’d like to see an original song — not some generic love ballad. For once, I’d like to hear a song about something ordinary; I’d like to hear a song about a chair. Often, you’ll hear of love being taken for granted, but what about chairs? How often do you think about the chairs you sit upon every day? There is a home sweet home, but no chair sweet chair.

And for those who think you can’t get enough emotion from a song about chair: Haven’t you ever had a time when you really needed to sit down? How great did it feel when you actually found a seat?

It’s not as easy to write a song about a chair, but that’s the point. I want to hear a song that took effort to write, lyrics and all. Something non-generic. And the easiest way to remove the writers from the generic is to write on an entirely different subject.

When I’m dead, I’ll miss

“When I’m dead, I’ll miss

Flowers which give me allergies and make it impossible to breath from both nostrils at once. I’ll miss

Sunlight reflecting off cars to blind me while I drive. I’ll miss

Broccoli, which tastes so disgusting on my tongue. I’ll miss

Smoke drifting off a cigarette and molesting my nostrils, making me cough. I’ll miss

Summers too hot to think. I’ll miss

Winter, when everyone is sniffling and, instead of staying home, passing on their cold or flu. I’ll miss

E-mails that are just spam, flooding my inbox, taking forever to sort out and delete. I’ll miss

Movies so bad that they’re a waste of my money. I’ll miss

Ants invading my new food, and the reek of the ant repellant. I’ll miss

Food poisoning from the occasional bad restaurant with mediocre service, and how I stupidly still left a tip. I’ll miss

Waiting in line forever at places like the DMV. I’ll miss

Vacuuming, dusting, washing the dishes, and all the other boring chores. I’ll miss

Feet in pain from stepping on sharp object or from falling asleep. I’ll miss

People too inconsiderate to avoid walking into you or to turn down their obnoxious radios. I’ll miss

, yes sir, I’ll even miss

You.”

And then he shot him. And he missed

Gay Marriages Good for the Economy?

How much money do people typically spend on marriages? A lot, yes. Especially if you include everything immediately before and after the marriage. So, would the legalization of gay marriages induce a temporary spending spree? And if so, how much of an impact would it have, if at all?

However, would that mean companies would have to spend more money on health coverage, etcetera? Or, does it mean less work and paperwork since there’s less status types to remember?

Or, maybe all of this is a non-issue. I was just trying to think pragmatically.

[damn, missed the update… and I was doing so well, too]

Missing Weblogging

Lloyd’s prompt: “How long can you go without having to post on your weblog? Days? Weeks? Months? Do you miss it somehow? Or not?”

Somehow, I managed to get into this current groove of flipping everyday. And I have to say, I like it. So, now, I don’t want to miss one day.

However, just recently, I missed 5 days because my weblog and website were down due to webhosting issues. I did miss weblogging. When I was writing, it was hard to think of new ideas. But just a few days after not having the weblog, I started thinking of new topics to write about. In fact, I ended up writing an entry on paper for when I got back to blogging.

How long could I go without a weblog? Realistically speaking: forever. I mean, if I absolutely had to, I could stop. Anytime. I’m not addicted to it.

If I’m not addicted, then how come I wrote an entry on paper? That’s because I knew I was getting my weblog back soon. But yeah, that does sort of make me contradict myself. Let’s say I was on vacation, away from the computer. I think I could probably go a week without writing anything. But after 7 days, I think I would have to write something.

Before I got into this 7x a week groove, I could easily go a few days without weblogging. However, for now, I’ll repeat that I don’t want to miss one day.

Random Four Day Weekend

For some odd reason, I get this Friday off and next Monday off. Okay, Friday’s actually a teacher work-day, but there’s no reason for Monday. Someone else and I decided to come up with an occasion to provide reason for this: Almost Presidents’ Day.

Almost Presidents’ Day celebrates the people who ran for president, but never quite made it, especially those who ran multiple times. Men like Thomas E. Dewey, and William Jennings Bryan. The man we most honor most is Henry Clay, the great compromiser. I think he holds the record for most times running for US president and losing.

Oh yeah, and third party candidates (like Debs), don’t count. Just like how they don’t count in the election (kidding).

RIP TPV

On a whim, late Monday night, I decided to end my comic, The Perfect Villain. Actually, it wasn’t a whim. This thing has been building up for a long time. However, the decision to actually end the comic was a sudden one.

If you’ve been following me and my website for quite some time, you can see that something like this was bound to happen. I’ve taken a few hiatuses, and have been lacking in updates. The biggest hint was when I tried to make Majestic my main comic. In fact, Majestic has been listed above TPV in my Comics drop-down menu ever since then. Majestic’s just a plain better comic than TPV. I’ve liked it better. Others have expressed that they like it better.

So, why is TPV not as good as Majestic? I used to think TPV didn’t live up to its full potential because I didn’t update it consistently. Yet, I hardly update Majestic at all, and I still consider it better. Inconsistent updates weren’t the reason nobody read TPV. To understand this, I have to delve into why I didn’t update it consistently.

The whole second in command contest was the worst mistake. I consider my first comic to be the worst comic, but I can understand it since it was the first. There was still room to improve. However, the second in command contest didn’t give room to improve. It introduced too many characters, making it impossible to develop any of them. Meanwhile, with the concurrent storyline, I was getting perhaps a little development going with Goemon. For the longest time, I lamented having too many characters. It made it harder to think of new comics since I didn’t have any real characters to drive the plot.

I already planned to kill off the characters, to make the story tighter. However, on Monday, I changed my mind. I decided it would be better to kill the comic. I hadn’t actually considered the option before, weighing the costs and benefits. In the end, I decided to kill the comic because it wasn’t just the characters driving the comic down.

In fact, the comic was driven down from the beginning. Originally, The Perfect Villain was intended to satirize villains from game and movies by creating a character that didn’t have their major flaws. I wrote a few strips based off that, but didn’t actually get around to using any of them. (Actually, I did manage to incorporate making fun of the “dark” theme of many villains.) Instead, I went into the Evil Lair Idea, and the comic devolved from there.

I effectively limited myself by deriving the title first, but what really limited me was the plot. The plot was never great. Hey, it’s a sprite comic. The plot can never be great. The comic became the equivalent of rambling. And if you’ve read some of my entries, you know how I despise rambling. The comic had no direction. One step in front of the other, with no destination in mind. Perhaps things would’ve turned out differently if I’d stuck with my original idea and not had any plot. But hey, that’s what happens when you improvise from square one.

The seeds have been there a long time. Yet, why did I suddenly decide to kill the comic on Monday. Well, this was the catalyst:

Reviewed by: UberMan5000

Overall Rating: 3

Comments:

Chalk up The Perfect Villain on the miles-long list of spritecomics with nothing to offer. The main character is a stick figure that can’t move, his minions are insipid, his adversaries are all vastly incompetent and bland (except maybe Goemon, but that’s still a bit of a stretch), and the comic itself is crudely constructed, the backgrounds composed of random circles and polygons and the talk balloons totally nonexistant (the author merely uses different fonts arranged in disjointed patterns). It probably took the author (whoever the hell he is) ten minutes a piece to construct each action-packed episode, concept to completion!

The storylines share the crudity of the comic’s presentation. The comic opens up with an obligatory “I’m the Perfect Villain, hear me roar” kind of comic, then he finds a lair, finds a second-in-command (who’s nothing more then a wise-ass scribble) who he picked through rounds of Family Feud, Match Game, Jeapordy, and a gauntlet that went for over 60 comics. He then rounds up a hoard of cut-and-paste Yoshis for his hoard of minions. A very bad-looking inverted sprite of Mario from Mario RPG named “Captain Nova” (because he glows) vainly tries to foil this perfect villain. Ness offers him a ride in his glob of circles that he calls a submarine. He then abandons him, has a dialogue with the narrator (fourth-wall breaching, classic). Captain Nova then gets caught in Goemon’s spider web and they set off to find The Perfect Villain’s lair. The rest of the story isn’t even worth talking about.

I’ve read through all 109 comics in the archives so that you don’t have to. Psycho-Ward.org can pay for as much ad space as they want, but all they need to do is make this comic tolerable to get some viewers and gain my respect. Avoid this comic until they get their act together, but you’ll probably be dead by then.

As I read it, I wasn’t mad. I realized it was almost all true. I appreciate everything he said (except: “but you’ll probably be dead by then”). I needed this. I needed someone to confirm these lingering thoughts I’ve had for a long time.

I’ve said before, “If this wasn’t my comic, I wouldn’t vote for it.” I shouldn’t have continued a comic if I really wasn’t that proud of it. It took me a while, but I finally realized that yesterday.

If I didn’t believe in the comic, why did I keep doing it? Part of it has to do with Peter Pan, I think. No, that’s not a complete non sequitur. You see, TPV’s mode of humor is definitely younger. It’s definitely less mature. And you know what, I think that comforted me. In TPV, I never had to grow up. Well, now I’ve outgrown TPV. I’ve matured, and my humor has matured. TPV has not matured with me. Granted, I think some of the later episodes have better comedic timing, but they’re still not as good.

Let me give another story. I’ve mentioned before how Urchin quit Sakana Yama. What I haven’t mentioned is that he came back. And then, he soon thereafter quit again. He said he didn’t find his work funny. Now, Urchin didn’t have the same problem with characters that I did, but I think he outgrew his work too. He outgrew the coarse random humor.

Even though I don’t think TPV is that great anymore, I have no regrets. It was a learning experience. Practically no one is successful with their first comic. I learned some valuable lessons. I learned that too many characters can kill. I am more familiar with my photo editing programs. I learned pixel editing and patience. I know all about the PNG graphical format. I learned a bit of discipline and time management. My greatest lesson from TPV, however, is what not to do. I know not to make another The Perfect Villain comic.

I don’t think any of it was a waste of time. I did make some people laugh. I don’t think TPV was in the bottom 1% of comics. I think it was at least at the 2% level. Even though it’s not great, I’m still proud of it. Some episodes didn’t take long to make, but there were still over 100 comics. That does add up.

Next time, however, my comic will be higher than the 2% level, and the amount of time spent on it (especially planning) will increase exponentially. Look forward to my next comic.

Separate Lawsuits

Read this Wired news article: One File Swapper, One Lawsuit.

“On Friday, Judge Clarence Newcomer authorized a subpoena in the case of John Doe No. 1, because the RIAA had submitted a detailed case against the individual. But the judge ordered the music industry to file separate suits against the remaining 202 alleged infringers.”

Good job! Lumping them together would infringe on their rights.

Something I found humorous:

The music trade group must pay court fees for each of these cases. Filing each lawsuit will cost $150 in court fees, for a total of over $30,000, according to the EFF.

The RIAA would not say what it plans to do.

“We are weighing our options,” said RIAA spokeswoman Amanda Collins. She declined to elaborate.

YELLING

MAYBE

  SOMETIMES

WHEN   PEOPLE  ARE  YELLING AT YOU IT’SJUST BECAUSETHEY FORGOTTOTURN    OFF
 CAPSLOCKSOYOUSHOULDN’T yell back

                   listen.   .  . (

My Zen Koan

My Zen koan: If Jesus was a professional wrestler, what would be his finishing move?

What’s the answer? Why, the answer lies within you, my friend. I cannot give you the answer… but here are some responses I’ve been given:

  • The Crucifix
  • The Resurrection – where he comes back after being pinned and then wins
  • The Second Coming
  • Bible Breaker

So, if you’ve got any responses, please add them. If you can describe any of the moves that do not yet have a description, please comment. If you think this is not funny and I am blasphemous, please refrain from commenting.

Those responses are good and funny, but we all know the real answer, right?

Defusing My Goldfish

I don’t get it. I removed my link to the Pepperidge Farm goldfish website. The words were hardly changed. I did nothing else. Suddenly, my Goldfish jingles page drops completely off the search engine listing. So, scratch that strategy. I’m going to restore the page to its original text. However, I may still follow through with the second part of the strategy.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? View my entry, “Google Defusing Goldfish”.

Out of Context Awards: February 2004

From third place to first place…

“T-I… Donkey Kong!” – Shannon

Is there really context? After looking at a TI Calculator, my sister somehow messed up this Donkey Kong song from one game.

“It’s impersonal and all about the Benjamins.” – Tony

We were having a group discussion about the line, “Business is business,” in Death of a Salesman.

“If E.E. Cummings had written Winnie the Pooh, it would be much more disturbing and have sex in it.” – me

We’re doing a English project on a contemporary American poet or playwright (some are both). I was reading my poetry book on E.E. Cummings. I showed Emerald the book (at her request) and she asks, “Didn’t he write Winnie the Pooh?” My response wasn’t immediate. I thought that one up later, but still said it.

[03/05/04 – EDIT: Added context.]

1 + 14 = Rights

MoodVertigo quotes Joseph Story. Joseph Story’s opinions regarding the First Amedment are obsolete. Why? Let’s examine Joseph Story a bit further. In Barron v. Mayor and City Council of Baltimore, a unanimous Supreme Court “found that the limitations on government articulated in the Fifth Amendment were specifically intended to limit the powers of the national government. Citing the intent of the framers and the development of the Bill of Rights as an exclusive check on the government in Washington D.C., Marshall argued that the Supreme Court had no jurisdiction in this case since the Fifth Amendment was not applicable to the states.”

Let that sink in. “Wait a second,” you may cry out, “But the states cannot take away those rights… Can they?” The answer is: No, they cannot. After the Civil War, a little thing called the 14th Amendment was passed. One part states, “No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, wiithout due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Because of the 14th Amendment, your text regarding the 1st Amendment is incorrect. The states cannot do all the things you said. A state cannot infringe on a person’s religious freedoms.

You see, the 1st Amendment is worded the way it is because at that time, states were thought to be the bastions of freedom. The national government was the one to be feared. Over time, this changed. States ended up taking away people’s rights — thus, part of the necessity for the 14th amendment.

So, I hope next time you speak of this subject matter, you remember the implications of the 14th Amendment.

Religious Taxes OK According to You

In a long comment to my Answering a Fifth Comment Regarding the Pledge entry, MoodVertigo said, “It doesn’t say that states cannot establish a religion or observe religious holidays in their own constitutions. It doesn’t say that cities, counties, or school districts cannot show respect for the Bible or Christianity (or any other religion for that matter). The First Amendment doesn’t imply in even the vaguest way that it is unconstitutional for a city to erect a manger scene in the town square at Christmas or for a school teacher to offer up a prayer to God at a graduation ceremony or before daily classes begin. You cannot get that out of the First Amendment, even if you stretch. The First Amendment only limits Congress; no one else.”

Ah, so it doesn’t limit states or cities. Hm… I want to propose a bill taxing all Christians. We’ll call it the “Jesus Tax.” Only, it’ll only be a state bill. I live in California. So, let’s say California collects the money and uses it to fund anything the state legislature thinks Jesus would really, really like. No, better yet, let’s introduce a “Jew Tax,” also known as the “Didn’t Accept Jesus as the Savior Tax.” We’ll tax Jews for not accepting Christ as the Savior and restitution for letting Jesus die. Then, we’ll introduce the “Muslim Tax” to make a relief fund for September 11th victims (because after all, Islam was the root cause of September 11th) and oppressed women in countries with Islam. Only the money can be used to fund suicide bombers if the state legislature finds it okay. Next we’ll introduce an “Evil Atheist Tax” because, face it, evil costs money. Evil is the reason why we have to have prisons. Thus, it is only fair that atheists should pay for prisons. To live such a licentious life without morals is a privilege, not a right, and also demands a special payment.

Under your reasoning, none of this would be unconstitutional. Thank you very much. I’m sure this is exactly what was intended by the first amendment.

Furthermore, your reasoning is outdated. How outdated? About 140 years outdated. More on this, tomorrow.