Today, I’m focusing more on weblogging than philosophical concepts. Basically, some something funny happened recently stories…

This month’s out of context awards:
Runner up: “Naw, I could hella punch you with my foot and eat a burrito at the same time.”
Winner: “All Marilyn Manson needs to do is lactate wine and he’ll become Jesus.”

Runner up context: My friend Ryan brought up how it would be really cool to have hands on his feet. Then, he could do lots of stuff. Feet are useless, really. They can’t do anything except walk. I brought up how it would be ergonomically uncomfortable with a computer desk, but then I considered putting the keyboard near the floor. That way, you could also do other work on top. Humans have a one-track mind, however. I said that it would be hard to do two things at once. For example, say my friend was mad at me, I said that he couldn’t punch me in the face and continue eating his burrito. He said, “Naw, I could hella punch you with my foot and eat a burrito at the same time.”

That’s amusing, but it’s only runner up to the quote and the context of this one (warning: offensive and distasteful): One day after school, my friend Richard and I were discussing Jesus. I wondered how Jesus turned water into wine. From watching an episode of South Park, I knew that Jesus told everyone to turn around and then he switched them. However, where did the wine come from? I came up with the reasonable hypothesis that Jesus lactated wine. It did fit with the wine is my blood thing. Yet, that raised the question: How did he hide his breasts? I said he wore big robes. Richard suggested that he had his ribs removed so he could push them in. Removing the ribs parallels Adam and Eve, also. He also came to the conclusion that Jesus could suck his own dick because he had his ribs removed.

The next day, we brought up the topic with my other friend Ryan, who agreed with us. He also brought up that Marilyn Manson had his ribs removed so he could suck his dick. Therefore, Manson was closer to God than many other people. I said, “All Marilyn Manson needs to do is lactate wine and he’ll become Jesus.”

Oh yeah, and something else happened that was funny, today. My friend had some napkins on his lunch tray, and one of them was blown away by the wind. It hovered above him, propelled by gusts of wind, for at least 10 seconds before landing back on the tray, almost exactly where it was before. That was pretty insane.